Next Sunday is the last one before Christmas, so it should be a decent collection plate full of cash from all the local sinners....
It must have been the wrong church then, I wondered why they were smoking spliffs and talking in a strange language....
We are experiencing tough times at the local church, through lack of patronage. We will now only have one collection per service ............... l'm sick of having to chip in all the time! Even patron Kiwi has stopped coming. Must of been when we cut the beer out. Roll up, roll up!
I've heard through the grapevine that patron kiwi has started his own church, cutting out any religious services and merely serving alcohol. Only a rumour at the moment, but who knows, eh ?
Well Rev Didley, I tried to get to Kiwi's church this morning, but was turned away, as I didn't bring a bottle. Tight wads ! I'll turn up later at your Church of the Latter Day Boozers......hic...
All good my son, Woops. You can guzzle as much free gin as you like at the friendly Rev Squat bar...... sorry, l mean church. For an added bonus, there no Xmas clocks at Squats church & grill.