Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

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A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing:

When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked. "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird."

"I had tolio as a child." He answered.

"You mean polio?" She asked.

"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."

When the groom took off his trousers, his bride once again asked. "What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"

"As a child, I also had kneasles." He explained.

"You mean measles?" She asked.

"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.

As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.

"Don't tell me." She said. "Let me guess... Smallcox!
 
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More bad news from China :
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朣楢琴执㝧执瑩浻牡楧㩮㔱硰执㝧执獧浻牡楧敬瑦瀰絸朣杢㑳执獧扻捡杫潲湵潣潬㩲昣昸昸㬸慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧敷止瑩札慲楤湥楬敮牡氬晥⁴潴敬瑦戠瑯潴牦浯㡦㡦㡦潴捥捥捥戻捡杫潲湵浩条㩥眭扥楫楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散戻捡杫潲湵浩条㩥洭穯氭湩慥牧摡敩瑮琨灯㡦㡦㡦捥捥捥㬩慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧獭氭湩慥牧摡敩瑮琨灯㡦㡦㡦捥捥捥㬩慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散戻捡杫潲湵浩u条㩥楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散汩整㩲牰杯摩䐺䥘慭敧牔湡晳牯楍牣獯景牧摡敩瑮猨慴瑲潃潬卲牴昣昸昸䔬摮潃潬卲牴攣散散㬩潢摲牥硰猠汯摩⌠㙣㙣㙣搻獩汰祡戺潬正潭潢摲牥爭摡畩㩳瀲㭸漭戭牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰敷止瑩戭牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰戻牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰执獧搴摻

Makes me want to cry!
Especially the part where they say : 汦睯攺正瀻獯瑩
 
I woke up this morning and despite having 2 cars already I couldn’t resist going on autotrader and buying 3 more.. I then went on gumtree and bought another 2 bringing the total to 7 ...


I'm really worried that I’ve got Carowner virus .... ?
 
It's weird. I always envisaged Jamaica as being a paradise. Whys everyone so pissed off being sent there? They wanna try living in Camborne. We're the real heroes
 
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