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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6501
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6502
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6503
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Dear Deirdre,
    When I was young and got an erection I couldn't bend it with two hands.
    Now I'm 70 and when I get an erection I can bend it with I hand.
    Am I getting stronger?
     
    #6504
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6505
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6506
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6507
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6508
    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    kiwiqpr, May 26, 2023
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  11. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    IMG_20230606_223353.jpg
     
    #6511
    Zanjinho, Jun 6, 2023
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6512
    kiwiqpr, Jun 14, 2023
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    head
     
    #6513
    kiwiqpr, Jun 19, 2023
  14. M!LK

    M!LK Well-Known Member

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    Not today thank you.
     
    #6514
    M!LK, Jun 19, 2023
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6515
    kiwiqpr, Jun 19, 2023
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A mother in-law said to her sons wife when the baby was born

    "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn’t look anything like my son"

    The daughter inlaw lifted her skirt and said...

    "I don't mean to be rude either but this is a fanny not a ****ing photo copier !!"
     
    #6516
    kiwiqpr, Jun 19, 2023
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6517
    kiwiqpr, Jun 22, 2023
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6518
    kiwiqpr, Jun 28, 2023
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.
    After the first day they met up in the bar. "Ah, Francois," asks one, "ow 'av you been doing?"
    "Merde!" answers Francois. "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."
    "And zen what 'appened?"
    "I will tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform two metres off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"
    "And did you jurmp?"
    "I did not. I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp Two metres. Eet is beneath my dignity."
    "And zen what 'appened?"
    "Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five metres off ze ground, and 'e said "Jurmp."
    "And did you jurmp?"
    "I did not. I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp five metres. Eet is beneath my dignity."
    "What 'appened zen?"
    "Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform thirty metres above ze parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely, and 'e said 'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burme!'"
    "Sacre Bleu, mon ami. And did you jurmp?"
    "A leetle, at ze beginning.".
     
    #6519
    kiwiqpr, Jul 2, 2023
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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6520
    kiwiqpr, Jul 2, 2023
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