1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5743
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5744
    likesforeveryone and organic red like this.
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5745
    likesforeveryone and Zanjinho like this.
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5746
    likesforeveryone likes this.

  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5747
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5748
    likesforeveryone and Tiresias like this.
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5749
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5750
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5751
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5752
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5753
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5754
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    An Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out:

    "My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.

    The Irishman calls out across the lounge. "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus?"

    Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus." He says.

    Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him. "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness. Jesus looks over, raises his glass in thanks and drinks.

    Then the Australian calls out. "Oy you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or what?"

    Jesus nods and says. "Yes, I am Jesus."

    The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure.

    The Scouser then calls out. "Oii whack, would you be Jesus?"

    Jesus smiles and says. "Yes, I am Jesus."

    The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table.

    Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends.
    He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement.....

    "Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for years is gone! It's a miracle."

    Jesus then shakes the Australian's hand, thanking him for the lager.

    Upon letting go, the Australian's eyes widen in shock. "By jingo mate, the migraine! The migraine I've had for 40 years is completely gone it's a miracle!"

    Jesus then goes to approach the Scouser who says. "Back off, mate! I'm on Disability!"
     
    #5755
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5757
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  18. Tiresias

    Tiresias Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2017
    Messages:
    3,034
    Likes Received:
    2,044
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5759
    likesforeveryone likes this.
  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,000
    Likes Received:
    232,144
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5760
    likesforeveryone likes this.

Share This Page