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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Donald Trump gets the Polish builders in to erect the wall between the USA and Mexico.....

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    #5581
    kiwiqpr, Sep 23, 2020
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5582
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
    johnsonsbaby likes this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5583
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5584
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    what is this award for
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    #5585
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    has to be a joke


    dosent it
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    #5586
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5587
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
  8. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    Dr Hook.
    Great band.
    Awful Gynaecologist.
     
    #5588
    Garlic Klopp, Sep 27, 2020
  9. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #5589
    Garlic Klopp, Oct 3, 2020
  10. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    #5590
    Zanjinho, Oct 3, 2020
    THE FOOL, organic red and jaffaklopp like this.

  11. jaffaklopp

    jaffaklopp Well-Known Member

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    #5591
    jaffaklopp, Oct 3, 2020
  12. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.
    "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.
    "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.
    And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
    Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
    "Go and get help!" he cried.
    "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"
    "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
    Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
    The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
     
    #5592
    Garlic Klopp, Oct 8, 2020
    RogerisontheHunt likes this.
  13. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    <doh>
     
    #5593
    Red Hadron Collider, Oct 9, 2020
  14. RogerisontheHunt

    RogerisontheHunt Well-Known Member

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    #5594
    RogerisontheHunt, Oct 9, 2020
    Zanjinho likes this.
  15. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    I see Katie Price has a new gynecologist.

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    #5595
    Garlic Klopp, Oct 9, 2020
  16. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    #5596
    Zanjinho, Oct 11, 2020
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5597
    kiwiqpr, Oct 12, 2020
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5598
    kiwiqpr, Oct 12, 2020
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5599
    kiwiqpr, Oct 12, 2020
  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.
    The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
    She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.
    Again, she seems alright – but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
    Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. “So, Ma’, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.
    “It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”
     
    #5600
    kiwiqpr, Oct 12, 2020
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