Hotel Inquiry (it is a dog life)
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A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote this short letter:
"I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came back from the hotel owner, who wrote:
"Dear Sir ...I've been operating this hotel for many years now, and in all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly, and I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill.
Yes indeed, your dog is very welcome at my hotel and if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
4 – Use of English……. at your own interpretation
In a Tokyo Hotel:
“It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing please not to read notice.”
In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby:
“The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable.”
In a Leipzig Hotel Elevator:
“Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.”
In a Paris Hotel Elevator:
“Please leave your values at the front desk.”
In a Hotel in Athens:
“Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.”
In a Yugoslavian Hotel:
“The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.”
In a Lobby of a Moscow Hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
“You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.”
In an Austrian Hotel Catering to Skiers:
“Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.”
On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
“Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.”
On the Menu of a Polish Hotel:
“Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.”
In a Zurich Hotel:
“Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.”
In a Swiss Mountain Inn:
“Special today – no ice cream.”
In a Tokyo Bar:
“Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.”
On the door of a Moscow Hotel Room:
“If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.”
In a Norwegian Cocktail Lounge:
“Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”
In an Acapulco Hotel:
“The Manager has personally passed all the water served here.”
In a Czechoslovakian Tourist Agency:
“Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages…”
Advertisement for Donkey Rides in Thailand:
“Would you like to ride on your own ass?”
In a Copenhagen Airline Ticket Office:
“We take your bags and send them in all directions.”
In a Hotel in Madrid:
“English well speaking”
In a Hotel in Osakas:
“In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter”
In a Hotel in Paris:
“For your evening muscles, the hotel offers a gym in free form”
In a hotel restaurant in Greece:
“For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient, self service”
In a Hotel Bedroom Notice:
“Please to bathe inside the
TAB”
In a Hotel in Nice:
“You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid”
Outside a Hong Kong Tailor Shop:
“Ladies may have a fit upstairs.”
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In a Bangkok Dry Cleaner’s:
“Drop your trousers here for best results.”
Outside a Paris Dress Shop:
“Dresses for street walking.”
In a Rhodes Tailor Shop:
“Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotations.”
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
“It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.”
In an Advertisement by a Hong Kong Dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.”
In a Rome Laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.”
In a Bangkok Temple:
“It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.”
In a Budapest Zoo:
“Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.”
In the office of a Roman Doctor:
“Specialist in women and other diseases.”
In a Tokyo Shop:
“Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.”
Two Signs from a Majorcan Shop Entrance:
“English well talking”
“Here speeching American.”
