Barcelona forward Lionel Messi wants the club to move for
Tottenham midfielder Dele Alli, 21, before Real Madrid do.
(Don Balon - in Spanish)

Oh, does he! Well, he can **** right off!
I can just imagine that phone call with Levy...
Messi: "Ah! You finally decide to answer phone! I've been ringing for ****ing hours!"
Levy: "Who is this? If you're trying to sell me double-glazing, I'm not ****ing interested..."
Messi: "No double-glazing! Is me... Messi! Greatest football player ever... Hey! why laugh so hard!"
Levy: "Thanks, son! I needed cheering up! So, if that's all you called for, I've got work to..."
Messi: "No, wait! That was not reason for call! I call about Alli..."
Levy: "What about him?"
Messi: "I would love to play in team with him!"
Levy: "Yeah? What position do you play?"
Messi: "Striker."
Levy: "Well, I've have a word with Poch. See if he's got any scouts spare. I have to warn you, though, that we're pretty much covered in that department, what with us having the best striker in the World, at this precise moment. You'd be playing for a place on our bench, son..."
Messi: "What the **** you talk about! Son of a bitch! You know who I am?"
Levy: "Of course. But I'm not going to lie to you, son! If you want my advice, I'd stick where you are, as I suspect that they need you more than we will."
Messi: "**** off! I wouldn't play for your two-bit **** club in a million years! Son of a bitch!"
Levy: "Then why the **** are you ringing me and wasting my ****ing time?"
Messi: "I tell you this already, asshole! I call to tell you that the Great Messi want to play in same team as Alli..."
Levy: "Well, I tell you what, son... If ever I feel the need to employ the talents of a jumped up dwarf, I'll give you a call. Okay? Now, **** off!"
[Levy hangs up and scratches his bollock]