Off Topic The Goodhand Arms
- Thread starter TheSecondStain
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Yep today's news, tomorrow's Silicon'n'chips.
Here you go, @tomw24 (and everyone else) - launching on Saturday!
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As a valued customer of The Works, I’m writing to let you know about an important change to how you shop with us.
From today, customers will no longer be able to shop online at theworks.co.uk.
Our website has provided customers with shopping convenience since launching almost 15 years ago, but our stores have always been – and continue to be – the heart of our business. They are where the vast majority of our customers choose to shop and where we can best deliver great value, friendly service and the inspiration our customers love.
Is this the new trend?
Going to a shop to buy stuff? Nah, that will never catch on…
If any of you good folk could pop on and leave a nice comment on this Short, you’d be helping a Saints brother out!!
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A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...
Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your 'thingy' was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1,000 an inch."
The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many big you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a midi before, and you decide to go for a whopper, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a whopper before, and you decide only to invest in a midi this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spokenwith your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're having granite worktops"
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...
Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your 'thingy' was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1,000 an inch."
The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many big you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a midi before, and you decide to go for a whopper, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a whopper before, and you decide only to invest in a midi this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spokenwith your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're having granite worktops"
Full Koenigsegg meets Jodie episode out now!
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A man is in a nasty car accident and screaming. The paramedic says " Calm down sir. Your girlfriend has been flung through the windscreen and she isn't making as much noise as you " The man replied "Have you seen what she has got in her mouth? "
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"The number of people helped by RNLI lifeguards on the beaches of the UK and the Channel Islands doubled last year and the charity believes the Middle East crisis may lead to an even busier spring and summer in 2026.
While RNLI lifeguards went to the aid of about 18,000 people in 2023 and 2024, this leapt to more than 35,000 in 2025, the spike put down to a combination of good weather and an increased interest in seaside pursuits.
People find new and different ways of potentially getting in trouble and we have to find new and different ways of supporting them.”
Well worth continued support the RNLI relies on voluntary donations for over 90% of its income.
www.theguardian.com
While RNLI lifeguards went to the aid of about 18,000 people in 2023 and 2024, this leapt to more than 35,000 in 2025, the spike put down to a combination of good weather and an increased interest in seaside pursuits.
People find new and different ways of potentially getting in trouble and we have to find new and different ways of supporting them.”
Well worth continued support the RNLI relies on voluntary donations for over 90% of its income.
Number of people helped by RNLI in UK and Channel Islands doubled in 2025
Charity believes Middle East crisis may lead to even busier spring and summer in 2026
www.theguardian.com
RIP Chuck Norris.
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Anyone else follow the rocket launch last night? I've been following it closely given it's the biggest space mission in my lifetime and is a potential springboard to further, more ambitious missions. Good to see the launch went smoothly.
I have. With all that is going on on it restores my faith in humanity.
Also, I hear they are looking to retrieve the ball from Adam Armstrong’s last penalty. Adam Armstrong: “One small kick for a man, one giant kick for mankind”
Saw my doctor today, he said "What's the problem?"
I said "I keep feeling like I'm an ocean."
He said, "Can you be more pacific?"
I said "I keep feeling like I'm an ocean."
He said, "Can you be more pacific?"
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