The Drunk Thread

Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant:
Color of hair?

Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.

Sergeant:
What was she wearing?

Husband:
Could have been trousers, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:
She actually went in my car...

Sergeant:
What kind of car was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
Mk2 escort in red
Full tarmac/modern spec shell
Chassis mounted 2.5 millington diamond 2+ 360bhp
DTA management
Samsona 6 speed sequential gearbox complete with headup display
Rieger 3way suspension
Rix engineering modular front suspension setup
Fully floating atlas axle with toe correction
Carbon propshaft
15" revolution grp4 fitment gold wheels on michelin tarmac tyres
AP Racing brakes all round
Grp4 fabrications millington spec radiator
Grp4 fabrications millington spec dry sump tank
Motordrive seats and harnesses (in date)
FIA spec fire eater system
Carbonfibre arch protectors, boot floor, driver and passenger floors, bumpers, boot lid and bonnet (with scoop).
Floor mounted pedal box
Cosworth control panels and dash system
Power steering conversion
Full simpson exhaust system

Sergeant:
Okay okay ! We'll find your car !!!

 

Thank you Sweats. 19 pages of drunkness.

 

#fossefied

 

I’m not drinking tonight

Someone else is going to have to post incoherent nonsense..

@luvgonzo we are relying on you.

 

@SaintsForTheWin is normally a good shout.

 

True he is in York. Hoping he stumbles into the Viking centre whilst smashed and falls into a display of some sort.

 

Not tonight... well a few

 

Sorry gents, didn’t get drunk last night. Tonight is the night though.

I’ll come on and post some ****e and expect @brb to ban me for a few hours, “for my own good”.

 

You’re funny when you’re hammered, thanks for the heads up lol.

 

Didn’t deliver ^^^

Disappointing tbh.

 

I got bartered. Apologies all round

 

I was also rather smashed. Was out on a stag.

 

I have had quite a lot this weekend but haven't been in here much. Few beers with the footy this afternoon though.

 

[QUOTE="luvgonzo, post: 13079048, member: 1001181"]I have had quite a lot this weekend but haven't been in here much. Few beers with the footy this afternoon though.[/QUOTE]

Blah blah ****ing blah. ****ing lightweights.

 

Top quoting fella.

 

Well it is the drunk Fred.

 

thank **** i ain't had a gin liquor or a wine spritzer.

 

Going to Twickenham for the rugby this weekend, usually entails me getting smashed. Will make up for it then.

 

Trying to do 48 hours without booze. Never used to drink on Mondays and Tuesdays , though the last year has been numerous trips to the pub on Tuesdays . Wednesdays and Thursday, Friday Saturday and Sunday. Going to try and stick to Wednesday and Friday night drinks.

May do a whole thread about trying to give up booze on certain days and get some support from my beloved friends and peers on this site.

 

I'll have a few. I was pissed last night.