Off Topic The Christmas Thread

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Three of my six kids (one from England) and their families are coming to join us in our Winter Wonderland this year. Its going to be a real traditional English-style Christmas...beautiful big tree cut from the property...big fat goose (Canadian) plus duck and ham and all the trimmings...English Christmas Pud....Sherry trifle....Croft's sherry...etc. Life is good. Just need City to win a few and move up!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.!!!

Can I come?
 
Three of my six kids (one from England) and their families are coming to join us in our Winter Wonderland this year. Its going to be a real traditional English-style Christmas...beautiful big tree cut from the property...big fat goose (Canadian) plus duck and ham and all the trimmings...English Christmas Pud....Sherry trifle....Croft's sherry...etc. Life is good. Just need City to win a few and move up!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.!!!

Get stuffed.

Edit. With all that lovely Xmas fayre Canada. Have a wonderful Xmas.<cracker>
 
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I'm not sure if you are complimenting me or taking the piss but either would be appropriate. My step-father always reckoned that sprouts were better if picked when there was a frost so they'd be ****ing brilliant if I could pick them this morning as it's -33c but feels like -42c with the wind.

And that's before he has the sprouts.
 
Cashmere sweater. Round or V-neck? Not Polo surely? Quick. Quick. I've got to decide now! Burgendy, Navy Blue or Teal? I mean, what the ****'s Teal? I'm out of my depth here. Help me. XL obviously but will an XXL be better round the midriff? I don't ****ing know. Do you? I'm being hassled here. What do I think about bobbling and pilling? Do I suspect cashmere is prone to either? I don't know because I don't know what either condition is. Will I wear it properly without pulling it out of shape? I haven't got a ****ing clue. Have you? Should I hold out for alpaca? Should I? I don't know! Advice here people! Come on you fashionistas. One of you must know!
 
Cashmere sweater. Round or V-neck? Not Polo surely? Quick. Quick. I've got to decide now! Burgendy, Navy Blue or Teal? I mean, what the ****'s Teal? I'm out of my depth here. Help me. XL obviously but will an XXL be better round the midriff? I don't ****ing know. Do you? I'm being hassled here. What do I think about bobbling and pilling? Do I suspect cashmere is prone to either? I don't know because I don't know what either condition is. Will I wear it properly without pulling it out of shape? I haven't got a ****ing clue. Have you? Should I hold out for alpaca? Should I? I don't know! Advice here people! Come on you fashionistas. One of you must know!

Shirt.
 
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I've got a fortnightsworth of them Ben. All white. No problem.

Not a v-neck. That's my advice.

I have an Xmas jumper dilemma you may be able to assist with.

I own two, both worn once. Lad's Xmas pub crawl year before last & the year before.

Last year both of them refused to fit my expanded figure so I made novel & imaginative alternative arrangements.

This years do is tomorrow. I forgot to get one today so had ****ed off the idea & was just going to turn up & take the "miserable bastard" flak.

Earlier, post shower, I dug out the old ones. Both went on & were quite loose, a credit to the recent efforts I've put into shedding a few pounds. Dilemma is I now have a choice. Purple & cream with a silhouette reindeer or blue with a sleigh & reindeer flying over roof tops.

It was fine when I didn't have one.
 
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Not a v-neck. That's my advice.

I have an Xmas jumper dilemma you may be able to assist with.

I own two, both worn once. Lad's Xmas pub crawl year before last & the year before.

Last year both of them refused to fit my expanded figure so I made novel & imaginative alternative arrangements.

This years do is tomorrow. I forgot to get one today so had ****ed off the idea & was just going to turn up & take the "miserable bastard" flak.

Earlier, post shower, I dug out the old ones. Both went on & were quite loose, a credit to the recent efforts I've put into shedding a few pounds. Dilemma is I now have a choice. Purple & cream with a silhouette reindeer or blue with a sleigh & reindeer flying over roof tops.

It was fine when I didn't have one.

I occasionally used to go drinking with a work colleague who thought it was hilarious to take two jumpers on a night out and swop them everytime he went for a piss. It wasn't (hilarious, that is - it merely upheld his reputation as a ****), but you could give it a go. Your workmates might be more easily amused than me.
 
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I occasionally used to go drinking with a work colleague who thought it was hilarious to take two jumpers on a night out and swop them everytime he went for a piss. It wasn't (hilarious, that is - it merely upheld his reputation as a ****), but you could give it a go. Your workmates might be more easily amused than me.

Some of the ****ers I work with wouldn't notice.

Tomorrow's back home with some old pals so they already know I'm both unfunny & a ****.

I'm gonna take them both & let my mum decide, she'll like that.
 
I occasionally used to go drinking with a work colleague who thought it was hilarious to take two jumpers on a night out and swop them everytime he went for a piss. It wasn't (hilarious, that is - it merely upheld his reputation as a ****), but you could give it a go. Your workmates might be more easily amused than me.

Methinks your ****ometer was operating perfectly - your colleague sounds a Grade A ''beller'' <ok>
 
Anyone else like sprouts? I love sprouts me.

I have two - to encourage the bairns - I chop them up and bury them in my mash. ****ing loathe the things.

Me mum used to drink sprout water cold. Thankfully she liked gin, too. It's a funny old world.
 
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My mate works a zero hour contract at a pub and apparently is being made to work Christmas eve, Christmas day, Boxing day and New Years eve. I've told him he can refuse the work but he's under the impression he'll be fired as his boss said 'no holidays at all during December'.

Merry Christmas.

Get a new job lined up, knock the boss out. Simples.
 
I'm not sure if you are complimenting me or taking the piss but either would be appropriate. My step-father always reckoned that sprouts were better if picked when there was a frost so they'd be ****ing brilliant if I could pick them this morning as it's -33c but feels like -42c with the wind.

Recall a tank being frozen to the ground when some nobber left it too late to bring it in. The summer was ridiculous the other way. Extreme life, literally. <ok>
 
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Cashmere sweater. Round or V-neck? Not Polo surely? Quick. Quick. I've got to decide now! Burgendy, Navy Blue or Teal? I mean, what the ****'s Teal? I'm out of my depth here. Help me. XL obviously but will an XXL be better round the midriff? I don't ****ing know. Do you? I'm being hassled here. What do I think about bobbling and pilling? Do I suspect cashmere is prone to either? I don't know because I don't know what either condition is. Will I wear it properly without pulling it out of shape? I haven't got a ****ing clue. Have you? Should I hold out for alpaca? Should I? I don't know! Advice here people! Come on you fashionistas. One of you must know!

Fleece.
 
I was just trying to put a festive smile on Castro's face.

I think everywhere should be shut on Christmas Day. And Boxing Day. And New Year's Eve. All transport should stop, taxis should not be available and TV shut down. It is sooooo unfair Spook's mate should have to work. Everyone should stop in and stare at the wall.
 
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Cashmere sweater. Round or V-neck? Not Polo surely? Quick. Quick. I've got to decide now! Burgendy, Navy Blue or Teal? I mean, what the ****'s Teal? I'm out of my depth here. Help me. XL obviously but will an XXL be better round the midriff? I don't ****ing know. Do you? I'm being hassled here. What do I think about bobbling and pilling? Do I suspect cashmere is prone to either? I don't know because I don't know what either condition is. Will I wear it properly without pulling it out of shape? I haven't got a ****ing clue. Have you? Should I hold out for alpaca? Should I? I don't know! Advice here people! Come on you fashionistas. One of you must know!
Cashmere
V
XXL
No bobbling / pilling
I think teal might be a duck
Don't hold an alpaca...they spit
 
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I think everywhere should be shut on Christmas Day. And Boxing Day. And New Year's Eve. All transport should stop, taxis should not be available and TV shut down. It is sooooo unfair Spook's mate should have to work. Everyone should stop in and stare at the wall.

You're working Christmas Day as well, Castro?