Cashmere sweater. Round or V-neck? Not Polo surely? Quick. Quick. I've got to decide now! Burgendy, Navy Blue or Teal? I mean, what the ****'s Teal? I'm out of my depth here. Help me. XL obviously but will an XXL be better round the midriff? I don't ****ing know. Do you? I'm being hassled here. What do I think about bobbling and pilling? Do I suspect cashmere is prone to either? I don't know because I don't know what either condition is. Will I wear it properly without pulling it out of shape? I haven't got a ****ing clue. Have you? Should I hold out for alpaca? Should I? I don't know! Advice here people! Come on you fashionistas. One of you must know!
Ernie you're welcome anytime. We love visitors...don't get too many. Just had my friend "Der Alte" (Bill) from this Forum so far. If you ever fly into Vancouver we are a short 30 minute seaplane ride from near the airport terminal.
Not a v-neck. That's my advice. I have an Xmas jumper dilemma you may be able to assist with. I own two, both worn once. Lad's Xmas pub crawl year before last & the year before. Last year both of them refused to fit my expanded figure so I made novel & imaginative alternative arrangements. This years do is tomorrow. I forgot to get one today so had ****ed off the idea & was just going to turn up & take the "miserable bastard" flak. Earlier, post shower, I dug out the old ones. Both went on & were quite loose, a credit to the recent efforts I've put into shedding a few pounds. Dilemma is I now have a choice. Purple & cream with a silhouette reindeer or blue with a sleigh & reindeer flying over roof tops. It was fine when I didn't have one.
I occasionally used to go drinking with a work colleague who thought it was hilarious to take two jumpers on a night out and swop them everytime he went for a piss. It wasn't (hilarious, that is - it merely upheld his reputation as a ****), but you could give it a go. Your workmates might be more easily amused than me.
Some of the ****ers I work with wouldn't notice. Tomorrow's back home with some old pals so they already know I'm both unfunny & a ****. I'm gonna take them both & let my mum decide, she'll like that.
I have two - to encourage the bairns - I chop them up and bury them in my mash. ****ing loathe the things. Me mum used to drink sprout water cold. Thankfully she liked gin, too. It's a funny old world.
Recall a tank being frozen to the ground when some nobber left it too late to bring it in. The summer was ridiculous the other way. Extreme life, literally.
I think everywhere should be shut on Christmas Day. And Boxing Day. And New Year's Eve. All transport should stop, taxis should not be available and TV shut down. It is sooooo unfair Spook's mate should have to work. Everyone should stop in and stare at the wall.
