S.A.F.C. - the future

[Whittylad]

Its been an absolute pleasure reading this thread tonight, and tbh, any takeover talk has kind of been pushed to the back, a bit of a "derailment" if you like. And the best thing about it, everyone has gone with it....no snide comments, no bitchyness, just genuine empathy with each others story's.

I'm going to post something which I have copied from a previous post. The initial part is something I posted over the road, in reply to something originally posted on here....i hope that makes sense.
It was from earlier this year, and smug (deliberately not tagged....thanks @Evil Jimmy Krankie ) wished everyone a Happy Easter.

"Its 2.14 am when im starting this post. Im posting the time as a reference to how long it might take me to finish it. I wont edit the time.

This is very hard....and ive wrote this out countless times (mainly on the depression thread on rtg), and deleted it. I dont think i was ready to talk.

I got a call from CAMHS about 3 years ago to tell me my daughter, then 15, was under their care, and had been for 12 months. They contacted me as an emergency as she was contemplating suicide. They explained what had been going on, (she consented to this phone call) and where she was at mental health wise. I really had no idea of any of this, so to say it came as a shock would be an understatement. The last three years have been a battle. Ive seen the self harm, the attempts, the cries for help. She has been, or rather we both have, been much more open. Its made for a very hard family life....ive tried to be the glue that held us together, but its been ****ing hard. She was always "my little princess", and i was always her hero, a typical father daughter relationship i guess. Ive lost count of the sleepless nights ive had....it seems like a recurring bad dream. Ive even seen her suicide note ffs, though she doesnt know this. She has had help, and she has really improved over the last few months, but its really taken its toll on me now.
My line manager, and work in general, have been fantastic. I work in a care environment (think cancer and daffodils), so are very pro-active in relation to mental health. I have been offered, and have taken, various support mechanisms, which have helped. The biggest help though, for me, was actually saying to my wife that i needed help, which, in hindsight, she had been saying to me for ages...i just hadnt listened.

Sometimes though, help can come from the strangest places......

A poster on another forum posted a Happy Easter message. My reply to that message has led me to (hopefully) posting, and not deleting, this on here now.

This was my reply....

"Happy Easter to you ********, and everyone else.

Im not religous at all, but i work in a cancer care hospice, and the hospice's chaplain held a short Easter service on thursday in what we call "the reflection room". Its a very calming room with a rock sphere water feature, which makes constant water flow noises. Its a place where any visitors, relatives, staff can go if they want a bit peace and quiet.....a bit of time for reflection. With the current situation, we only have essential staff in, and tbh, its been quite surreal. Im not frontline, (chef) but going up the ward area, and seeing the nurses....colleagues....in all the PPE (we have x1 positive, and x3 suspected covid19), its been quite emotional at times. Anyway, i went to the service, there was only about 12 people there, and it was literally 15 minutes long, but i found it really uplifting. I cant explain why, as i said i am not religous at all, but it was exactly what i needed at that time. I thought of my family, i shed a tear, and said a few words to myself...a prayer? Maybe.

I was a bit down last week, and as the week wore on, i couldnt wait till end of my shift on thursday afternoon. Im off now till Tuesday, and where on thursday morning i couldn't wait for my shift to finish, i now cant wait to get back on Tuesday.

What im getting at here is that one persons words (religous or not) and the manner in which she spoke those words completely changed my mood......massively.

Stay safe everyone., because everyone matters".

My daughter is doing well, really well. She's not 100% ok, nowhere near, but as i now know, its ok not to be ok.

Its now 3.14 so "only" took me an hour to write this out. Im now going to bed, do i post it, or do i delete it?

3.19am now ..5 minutes of thinking here!!

**** it.....post.

Goodnight all, stay safe, stay well.

That is a great post. I’m so pleased that your daughter is improving and just as pleased that you decided to leave the post up. Take care.

 

[Bank of England 2]

It’s amazing to think how entitled some supporters were back then. I sincerely hope that once we get back to the EPL then those same supporters are a bit more humble considering what we are currently putting up with.

I agree mate, we took for granted what we had. I think we were on the cusp of success, but were badly led by Byrne & Co, and this caused it's own frustration.
When we do get back up there, we need to enjoy the moment, and probably realise that 10th-13th isn't a bad place to be. The last 5 years in the Premier were a perpetual struggle, and not much fun mind. Firefighting and short-termism being the order of the day. We still had some good days though.

When we do get back up, we need to remember these times and appreciate where we've come from, unlike most Man City Fans I've met.

 

[Flatheed]

That's a wonderful thought mate an I'll certainly raise a glass to everyone.

I have three living sons and they all acknowledge Gordon, the first, who's the eldest but never left the hospital.

That's life and we all have to accept it but should always accept who we are and our place in things.

Just reading people’s own testimonies of their experiences bring home how common this situation is for families. My own experience was a strange mix of emotions and at the time very very personal and difficult thing to deal with. You feel that no one would understand but more people do than you realise.

My youngest is an identical twin and we had some idea that his brother, Lewis may be unwell. Unfortunately Lewis didn’t make it and was ‘born asleep’ his twin Max did make it (very much so) and starts secondary school next year. So as you see a strange mix of emotions having got Max but loosing Lewis.

The hospital were just going to take Lewis away but we said no because we wanted his brother to know exactly what happened and where Lewis was. So we have a plot for him in our local cemetery and we visit him regularly so Max knows how much we value him. This brings me to possibly the most difficult part of all this situation for me. I carried his little blue coffin to the graveside in the torrential rain. I am filling up now just thinking about it.

Just me, his mum, gran and brothers were there. We know where he is and he is always with us. I see his twin every day and it brings a lot of comfort.

 

[Evil Jimmy Krankie]

A

I agree mate, we took for granted what we had. I think we were on the cusp of success, but were badly led by Byrne & Co, and this caused it's own frustration.
When we do get back up there, we need to enjoy the moment, and probably realise that 10th-13th isn't a bad place to be. The last 5 years in the Premier were a perpetual struggle, and not much fun mind. Firefighting and short-termism being the order of the day. We still had some good days though.

When we do get back up, we need to remember these times and appreciate where we've come from, unlike most Man City Fans I've met.

Agree. Some of those players who were put in the “****e” bracket were nothing of the sort.

 

[alan reed]

A

Agree. Some of those players who were put in the “****e” bracket were nothing of the sort.

and some of them weren't even that good.

 

[Essayyeffcee]

Just reading people’s own testimonies of their experiences bring home how common this situation is for families. My own experience was a strange mix of emotions and at the time very s very personal and difficult thing to deal with. You feel that no one would understand but more people do than you realise.

My youngest is an identical twin and we had some idea that his brother, Lewis may be unwell. Unfortunately Lewis didn’t make it and was ‘born asleep’ his twin Max did make it (very much so) and starts secondary school next year. So as you see a strange mix of emotions having got Max but loosing Lewis.

The hospital were just going to take Lewis away but we said no because we wanted his brother to know exactly what happened and where Lewis was. So we have a plot for him in our local cemetery and we visit him regularly so Max knows how much we value him. This brings me to possibly the most difficult part of all this situation for me. I carried his little blue coffin to the graveside in the torrential rain. I filling up now just thinking about it.

Just me, his mum, gran and brothers were there. We know where he is and he is always with us. I see his twin every day and it brings a lot of comfort.

Having somewhere to visit like that and reflect is important and I suppose is some kind of comfort. After my dad died, I found out that my mam lost a little girl who was taken away from her and from what I gather, she never saw her again. So when it came to putting my dad's ashes in the cemetery my mam added a small headstone with my sister's name on it next to him. Now with both parents have gone, I've found that when I feel seriously down, it's a place to go and for them to catch up with what's going on with me.

 

[Sunderpitt]

Is our takeover a bit like the USA election?

The incumbent has lost but will not admit it... he s clinging onto power, lying all the time and doing anything disruptive or damaging he can, until the next owner comes in?

 

[TonyG]

Is our takeover a bit like the USA election?

The incumbent has lost but will not admit it... he s clinging onto power, lying all the time and doing anything disruptive or damaging he can, until the next owner comes in?

He probably cannot wait to get shot. It’s in the solicitors and bureaucrats hands now I reckon.

 

[Eye Ball Paul]

Imagine having Nicky Sumerbee(my favourite player of that era) putting the crosses in for the strikers we have now, oh never mind lol

with Grigg/Graham/Wyke/O’Brien they would all still miss

 

[Vincemac]

with Grigg/Graham/Wyke/O’Brien they would all still miss

Yeah your probably right
I mean you are right

 

[Sunderlad]

Its been an absolute pleasure reading this thread tonight, and tbh, any takeover talk has kind of been pushed to the back, a bit of a "derailment" if you like. And the best thing about it, everyone has gone with it....no snide comments, no bitchyness, just genuine empathy with each others story's.

I'm going to post something which I have copied from a previous post. The initial part is something I posted over the road, in reply to something originally posted on here....i hope that makes sense.
It was from earlier this year, and smug (deliberately not tagged....thanks @Evil Jimmy Krankie ) wished everyone a Happy Easter.

"Its 2.14 am when im starting this post. Im posting the time as a reference to how long it might take me to finish it. I wont edit the time.

This is very hard....and ive wrote this out countless times (mainly on the depression thread on rtg), and deleted it. I dont think i was ready to talk.

I got a call from CAMHS about 3 years ago to tell me my daughter, then 15, was under their care, and had been for 12 months. They contacted me as an emergency as she was contemplating suicide. They explained what had been going on, (she consented to this phone call) and where she was at mental health wise. I really had no idea of any of this, so to say it came as a shock would be an understatement. The last three years have been a battle. Ive seen the self harm, the attempts, the cries for help. She has been, or rather we both have, been much more open. Its made for a very hard family life....ive tried to be the glue that held us together, but its been ****ing hard. She was always "my little princess", and i was always her hero, a typical father daughter relationship i guess. Ive lost count of the sleepless nights ive had....it seems like a recurring bad dream. Ive even seen her suicide note ffs, though she doesnt know this. She has had help, and she has really improved over the last few months, but its really taken its toll on me now.
My line manager, and work in general, have been fantastic. I work in a care environment (think cancer and daffodils), so are very pro-active in relation to mental health. I have been offered, and have taken, various support mechanisms, which have helped. The biggest help though, for me, was actually saying to my wife that i needed help, which, in hindsight, she had been saying to me for ages...i just hadnt listened.

Sometimes though, help can come from the strangest places......

A poster on another forum posted a Happy Easter message. My reply to that message has led me to (hopefully) posting, and not deleting, this on here now.

This was my reply....

"Happy Easter to you ********, and everyone else.

Im not religous at all, but i work in a cancer care hospice, and the hospice's chaplain held a short Easter service on thursday in what we call "the reflection room". Its a very calming room with a rock sphere water feature, which makes constant water flow noises. Its a place where any visitors, relatives, staff can go if they want a bit peace and quiet.....a bit of time for reflection. With the current situation, we only have essential staff in, and tbh, its been quite surreal. Im not frontline, (chef) but going up the ward area, and seeing the nurses....colleagues....in all the PPE (we have x1 positive, and x3 suspected covid19), its been quite emotional at times. Anyway, i went to the service, there was only about 12 people there, and it was literally 15 minutes long, but i found it really uplifting. I cant explain why, as i said i am not religous at all, but it was exactly what i needed at that time. I thought of my family, i shed a tear, and said a few words to myself...a prayer? Maybe.

I was a bit down last week, and as the week wore on, i couldnt wait till end of my shift on thursday afternoon. Im off now till Tuesday, and where on thursday morning i couldn't wait for my shift to finish, i now cant wait to get back on Tuesday.

What im getting at here is that one persons words (religous or not) and the manner in which she spoke those words completely changed my mood......massively.

Stay safe everyone., because everyone matters".

My daughter is doing well, really well. She's not 100% ok, nowhere near, but as i now know, its ok not to be ok.

Its now 3.14 so "only" took me an hour to write this out. Im now going to bed, do i post it, or do i delete it?

3.19am now ..5 minutes of thinking here!!

**** it.....post.

Goodnight all, stay safe, stay well.

That is possibly one of the most raw yet uplifting texts I have ever, ever read. Thank you for being so brave and posting this, this may indeed help someone else down the line. Once again I applaud your bravery and I wish your daughter, yourself and your family all the very best in life. Thank you

 

[SAFC CLUD]

Its been an absolute pleasure reading this thread tonight, and tbh, any takeover talk has kind of been pushed to the back, a bit of a "derailment" if you like. And the best thing about it, everyone has gone with it....no snide comments, no bitchyness, just genuine empathy with each others story's.

I'm going to post something which I have copied from a previous post. The initial part is something I posted over the road, in reply to something originally posted on here....i hope that makes sense.
It was from earlier this year, and smug (deliberately not tagged....thanks @Evil Jimmy Krankie ) wished everyone a Happy Easter.

"Its 2.14 am when im starting this post. Im posting the time as a reference to how long it might take me to finish it. I wont edit the time.

This is very hard....and ive wrote this out countless times (mainly on the depression thread on rtg), and deleted it. I dont think i was ready to talk.

I got a call from CAMHS about 3 years ago to tell me my daughter, then 15, was under their care, and had been for 12 months. They contacted me as an emergency as she was contemplating suicide. They explained what had been going on, (she consented to this phone call) and where she was at mental health wise. I really had no idea of any of this, so to say it came as a shock would be an understatement. The last three years have been a battle. Ive seen the self harm, the attempts, the cries for help. She has been, or rather we both have, been much more open. Its made for a very hard family life....ive tried to be the glue that held us together, but its been ****ing hard. She was always "my little princess", and i was always her hero, a typical father daughter relationship i guess. Ive lost count of the sleepless nights ive had....it seems like a recurring bad dream. Ive even seen her suicide note ffs, though she doesnt know this. She has had help, and she has really improved over the last few months, but its really taken its toll on me now.
My line manager, and work in general, have been fantastic. I work in a care environment (think cancer and daffodils), so are very pro-active in relation to mental health. I have been offered, and have taken, various support mechanisms, which have helped. The biggest help though, for me, was actually saying to my wife that i needed help, which, in hindsight, she had been saying to me for ages...i just hadnt listened.

Sometimes though, help can come from the strangest places......

A poster on another forum posted a Happy Easter message. My reply to that message has led me to (hopefully) posting, and not deleting, this on here now.

This was my reply....

"Happy Easter to you ********, and everyone else.

Im not religous at all, but i work in a cancer care hospice, and the hospice's chaplain held a short Easter service on thursday in what we call "the reflection room". Its a very calming room with a rock sphere water feature, which makes constant water flow noises. Its a place where any visitors, relatives, staff can go if they want a bit peace and quiet.....a bit of time for reflection. With the current situation, we only have essential staff in, and tbh, its been quite surreal. Im not frontline, (chef) but going up the ward area, and seeing the nurses....colleagues....in all the PPE (we have x1 positive, and x3 suspected covid19), its been quite emotional at times. Anyway, i went to the service, there was only about 12 people there, and it was literally 15 minutes long, but i found it really uplifting. I cant explain why, as i said i am not religous at all, but it was exactly what i needed at that time. I thought of my family, i shed a tear, and said a few words to myself...a prayer? Maybe.

I was a bit down last week, and as the week wore on, i couldnt wait till end of my shift on thursday afternoon. Im off now till Tuesday, and where on thursday morning i couldn't wait for my shift to finish, i now cant wait to get back on Tuesday.

What im getting at here is that one persons words (religous or not) and the manner in which she spoke those words completely changed my mood......massively.

Stay safe everyone., because everyone matters".

My daughter is doing well, really well. She's not 100% ok, nowhere near, but as i now know, its ok not to be ok.

Its now 3.14 so "only" took me an hour to write this out. Im now going to bed, do i post it, or do i delete it?

3.19am now ..5 minutes of thinking here!!

**** it.....post.

Goodnight all, stay safe, stay well.

 

[Snaggey]

That is possibly one of the most raw yet uplifting texts I have ever, ever read. Thank you for being so brave and posting this, this may indeed help someone else down the line. Once again I applaud your bravery and I wish your daughter, yourself and your family all the very best in life. Thank you

Wow, I am genuinely choked at that. Thank you so much for the reply, I really appreciate it.
Thank You.

 

[T_Bone]

Just reading people’s own testimonies of their experiences bring home how common this situation is for families. My own experience was a strange mix of emotions and at the time very very personal and difficult thing to deal with. You feel that no one would understand but more people do than you realise.

My youngest is an identical twin and we had some idea that his brother, Lewis may be unwell. Unfortunately Lewis didn’t make it and was ‘born asleep’ his twin Max did make it (very much so) and starts secondary school next year. So as you see a strange mix of emotions having got Max but loosing Lewis.

The hospital were just going to take Lewis away but we said no because we wanted his brother to know exactly what happened and where Lewis was. So we have a plot for him in our local cemetery and we visit him regularly so Max knows how much we value him. This brings me to possibly the most difficult part of all this situation for me. I carried his little blue coffin to the graveside in the torrential rain. I am filling up now just thinking about it.

Just me, his mum, gran and brothers were there. We know where he is and he is always with us. I see his twin every day and it brings a lot of comfort.

Mate, I’m in tears reading that. Good luck to you and your family.

 

[T_Bone]

Having somewhere to visit like that and reflect is important and I suppose is some kind of comfort. After my dad died, I found out that my mam lost a little girl who was taken away from her and from what I gather, she never saw her again. So when it came to putting my dad's ashes in the cemetery my mam added a small headstone with my sister's name on it next to him. Now with both parents have gone, I've found that when I feel seriously down, it's a place to go and for them to catch up with what's going on with me.

You know what ? I do the same. I’m not a believer but on the few occasions in my life when I’ve had a crisis to deal with, I go to the headstone of my Nan, who I lived with.
I talk to her and ask her if I’m doing the right thing.

 

[Blyth_bucaneer]

Vauxie emabarrasing himself again. Pleading to be allowed to post on the takeover thread. He must want to discredit upthere with what he's said

I've been thread banned for ages on that thread, hardly the end of the world.

 

[Flatheed]

Mate, I’m in tears reading that. Good luck to you and your family.

Thanks mate.

 

[Pure River Slut]

I've been thread banned for ages on that thread, hardly the end of the world.

Same

 

[Confucius]

Same

Yours was ****ing deserved

 

[Draig]

Having read the reccent emotionally raw postings on this thread, their acceptance and responses has made me realise something that hopefully our current and future owners will appreciate.

The uncertainty over this takeover has deeply bitten into the mental and emotional wellbeing of us fans. It has made us much more vulnerable to the knocks and niggles of everyday life. The backbiting and the anger that has sometimes exploded on here is now more understandable.

I am proud that the outpouring of emotional vulnerability on this thread was given acceptance rather than abuse. We are building something rather than tearing it down to hoy at one another.

We are Sunderland at heart and we care deeply for our club. We aren't entitled, expecting silverware and expecting success week in, week out. All we expect is that the players give their all on the day. If they don't, if they don't pull together as a team, then they steal from our hearts and make our lives that bid harder to endure. Not because they have failed but because those we care so passionately about, our chosen family, didn't care enough about us to do their best for us. And that hurts.

We know that ultimately, whether it is TV, sponsorship, advertising or gate money, that the money that pays their wages rests upon us, the fans.

One day, when we are once more able to do such things, we should all book in somewhere together to celebrate this in the time honoured tradition but until then, I salute you one and all. We are Sunderland!