Having listened patiently to the arguments of all parties involved, taken into account all available statistics (both this season and last season), accounted for the various lay lines in the area of each ground in the premiership (just for the conspiracy theorists), then run all the information through Big Blue (the world's most powerful computer, capable of beating chess Grandmasters), then tossed my lucky Indian Chief dollar coin (just to involve those Soccer fans from the colonies in this), then studied the activities of local Badgers (we all know who that's for), I have come to the inevitable conclusion that Utd are crap! and are not going to win the Prem or get a top four finish.