Off Topic Offensive Jokes thread mark 2

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I hold my hands up to my own guilt on this thread, and I apologise for that, but can we cut the politics please.
 
There was a homeless man sleeping inside a big cardboard box outside the train station this morning.
Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.
He immediately woke up and said, “Thank you.”
“No problem.” I smiled.
He looked at me again and said, “It’s empty.”
I said, “I know, it’s meant to be a chimney.”
 
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A man goes into a bar where loud music is playing.
He spots a pretty girl at the end of the bar and approaches her. “Would you like to dance?” he asks her.
“I really don’t like this song,” she replies, “and even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.”
“I don’t think you heard me correctly,” says the man. “I said you look ****ing fat in those pants.”
 
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