The Sky at Night... Tonight Jeff Stelling and the panel discuss Paul Merson's speciality 'Castor and Pollux'... Last of the Summer Whine... A fit again Harry Redknapp discusses the problems of the Transfer Window with Arsene Wenger... Maid in Chelsea... The London version of 'Debbie does Dallas'...
Oily fools and horses - a group of celebrities have to drive cars with defects they don't know about, fix them and then proceed to a day at Ascot races without being allowed to wash or change.
The Dupes of Hazard - Footballer Eden sets out to discover how he was tricked into believing he had joined a progressive club with a world class manager, where the other 10 players disappear to at 3pm on Saturdays and other smoke and mirrors style deceptions.
Name that Toon... Cast members of 'Geordie Shore' have identify Newcastle legends from their silhouettes. Those who answer correctly get a bottle of Newky Brown and a free local shag. Those who answer incorrectly get a free local shag...
Embarrassing Bodies A team of doctors scare the ****e of the general public by showing infected parts of the outer body They sometimes case study overweight people and plant terrible thoughts about these patients inside the viewers heads. After presenting gluttony to the masses they then sign book deals before returning to their Harley Street comforts The Vaginal Yeast Infection show is sponsored by GSK for £3m but has helps the UK female population understand how to wash their front bottoms and warns about the downsides to non sterile sex toys Oh it's been done
Hairy Polter and the Goblet of Fire - the QPR forward, in a twist on the supersize me diet, lives on nothing but vodka for a month, growing increasingly dishevelled in the process. Coming soon - Hairy Polter and the Saucer of Stones - as above but with the titular hero drinking low grade bitter out of a cat bowl.
2 Gaal's 1 Klopp - The two EPL managers re-enact the notorious 2007 shock video with hilarious results.
The Goalkeeper's Fear of the Penalty Celebrities take it in turns to lie under oath in court to prevent David Seaman getting three penalty points on his driving licence. The winner walks free with a big hug from Dave, losers serve 3 months for perjury. First in the dock - Paloma Faith. Followed by Vanessa Feltz and Benedict Cumberbatch.
Throw Mame from the Train - two teams of celebrities have try to get Stoke City's Mame Biram Diouf forceably ejected from a First Great Eastern train. Watch as regular team captains Russell Brand and James Corden try ever more desperate attempts to get the unsuspecting conductor's ire to point at the Premier League star. Will they claim he used an e-cigarette, blame him for that mess in the loo or accuse him of pulling the emergency cord? One thing is for certain - the teams will do anything to get their hands on the prize - a selection of hot and cold snacks from the buffet car. Davina McCall barks down the tannoy... I mean commentates.
CasaBianca - Charlie Austin's missus invites a camera crew into her house to show the poor people who watch these type of shows what they'll never have.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest... A fly on the wall documentary following the England Rugby Union team through 2015...
Yeast of Eden - the Belgian international highlights the dangers of thrush in men by recounting his personal experiences.
Cesc and the City - the footballer does stuff that no self-respecting hetrosexual man would ever know about (presumably shagging a woman that looks a bit like a horse and her high living friends).
Or ... Juan Flew Over the Cuckold's Nest - In this insightful documentary, Juan Mata reveals why he left Chelsea for Man U. He popped around to visit Wayne Bridge's fiancé Vanessa Perroncel on the off chance of a bit of 'how's your father' when he discovers that John Terry had got there first and made her pregnant. 'How could I remain at the club with a scumbag like him?' declared Mata. Cuckold - Wayne Bridge & Vannessa please log in to view this image http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...gnant--England-captain-arranged-abortion.html
"Specked Her" Bill Clinton reminisces about the incident involving Ms Lewinsky's dress and his presidential population paste.
