"Batmanghelidjh and Robbing" Kids Company funding shenanigans involving everybody's favourite fat cow superhero.
"Burnham on Crouch on Burnham on Crouch" Failed Labour leadership candidate Andy Burnham joins professional bean pole and occasional footballer Peter Crouch for a piggy back tour of the delightful south Essex market town, Burnham-on-Crouch
Great Cescpectations - Snr Fabregas talks about his aspirations for 2016 The Bould Curiosity Shop - follow Arsenal's former centre half as he seeks to set up a quirky antiques emporium Pride and prejudice - The ground staff at Derby County's ground explain why they don't like people with ginger hair The cricketer on the hearth - series of fireside interviews conducted by Geoffrey Boycott
A Tail of Two Cities - the players of Manchester City and Birmingham City have animal tails ( ranging from squirrel to puma) grafted on to them for Pudsey. Crime and Punishment - drama series. After murdering his landlady Sepp Blatter seeks to justify his actions through vague philosophy, but even his friend Vladimir Putin has doubts, and he falls ill. Meanwhile detective Greg Dyke is nowhere near catching him. A Christmas Carol - Carol Vorderman eats a 15lb goose in one sitting for Christmas. The Hunchback of Gallowgate End - Peter Beardsley runs around the top of St James' Park, driven deaf by the sound of the booing from home fans. He pours Newcastle Brown Ale on the henchmen sent by Bishop Ashley to catch him. The classics, a rich new vein, nice one Dan.
Stash in the attic. Drug dealers have the chance to test their abilities to hide their gear in their lofts, as a team of celebrities attempt to find it. The weakest blink. Members of the public are challenged to crush wotsits between their top and bottom eyelids. MTV crabs The baddest of the bad in LA drop the pants to show off their itchy ball pets.
The Rolling Stones - Celebrity's Sharon Stone, Emma Stone, Sly Stone, Joss Stone, Steve Stone, Oliver Stone, and Cold Stone Steve Austin, all compete to see who is the quickest celebrity rolling stone in this years downhill tyre race. please log in to view this image
Les Miserable: Fly on the wall documentary following Les Ferdinand as he tries to find his feet in a new job he is under qualified for.
Lawrence of Arabia - we follow the epic journey of Lennie Lawrence as he wins the hearts of the locals coaching Jeddah Utd U12s. They soon agree to follow him to blow up a railway line in Jordan, for some reason.
Separated at Birth and Put in my Shoes New series based on the wafer thin premise that people who share the same surname should be on telly together, especially if they are famous. In the first series: Gianfranco Zola attempts to write a sequel to Therese Raquin, while Emile Zola is a pundit on Match of the Day Archduke Franz Ferdinand tries to run a failing West London football club, while Les prepares to ride in an open top car in Sarajevo. Careful now! Kesey Keller learns Braille while Helen puts on the gloves to guard the net for Seattle Sounders. Aneurin Bevan picks up the sticks to play drums for ELO and Bev negotiates with doctors to set up a National Health Service Ozzy Osborne delivers the budget speech to a packed House of Commons while young George bites the head off a bat A toy nodding dog runs the country in wartime while Winston Churchill sits on the parcel shelf of a Ford Fiesta. Ellen Terry serves a suspension for Chelsea while John plays the female lead in a Victorian production of the Scottish play.
How about a show in which Mark Radcliffe does battle with dark forces in a mystical school in the Scottish Highlands, whilst cousin Paula stutters relentlessly whilst hosting a show on the wireless, and wee Daniel curls one off down The Mall whilst on live TV....?
High time for this legendary thread to make a comeback. We’ve had a couple of years to dream up new surreal stuff. Deal or No Deal Theresa May and Jean Claude Juncker try to guess which box has got €35bn in it, by negotiating with Christine ‘the banker’ Lagard. If Theresa wins she has to give it to Claude, if Claude wins he gets to keep it and Theresa has to give him €35bn. Noel Edmonds hosts.
A new program called acting class, presented by and with lessons from Adam Woodyatt from Eastenders... please log in to view this image
Bargain Hunt - Jeremy Hunt goes around the country visiting antiques stalls, attempting to raise £350M a week through auctions to fund the NHS
Would I Lie To You? Teams of celebrity contestants compete to identify the biggest porkies told by the Leave campaign during the EU referendum. Brexiteers have to attempt to keep a straight face whilst repeating statements they made back in 2016. Hosted by jovial Jean-Claude Juncker, who has to down a drink after each lie is exposed.
