From The Sun the funniest story in years:
TITLE-CHASING
Tottenham are plotting a sensational raid on rivals
Liverpool for skipper Jordan Henderson
(**** off are we! I think we're more likely to bid for John Terry, Bobby Charlton, Radamel Falcao, Pato and the entire Aston Villa team).
Spurs want to celebrate their superb season by making a £25million move for England midfield dynamo Henderson as they look to back Mauricio Pochettino and with Champions League football to offer, Tottenham chiefs think they may have a real chance of pulling off the remarkable coup that would also weaken one of their main top-four contenders in the future
(must mean next year or the decade after).
Supremo Daniel Levy knows the time is right to strike telling blows in the transfer market as Pochettino's side have their best season in memory — and need to build on it
(with Jordan ****ing Henderson? If it's the 'Silly Season' why not Balotelli and Mignolet?).
There is also the nagging fear that the Argentinian's coach has done such great work that he will attract major interest in himself this summer.
So it would be even more important for Levy's club to make a massive statement of intent by spending big and signing a top player from one of the giants
(Now they've really lost it. Levy wanting to make a massive statement by spending big? On which top player? Giants? Finished behind us 6 out of the last 7 years.)
Henderson seems settled on Merseyside, staying as a key part of Jurgen Klopp's side since he took over. Liverpool do not want to lose him, so the player would have to make the move happen. The classy midfielder has not tasted Champions League football much in his career, so a free pass to the elite competition would have huge appeal on football levels alone.
(Ah, I get it; Henderson wants a new contract as his current £100,000 a week doesn't stack up against Milner's £140,000!)
