Football manager sacked for âpoor cliché recordâ
'Two-balls' Hughton said to feel 'sick as a chocolate frog'
The surprise sacking of Newcastle United manager Chris Hughton has been justified by club owner Mike Ashley on the grounds that Hughtonâs âappalling cliché record spoke for itselfâ.
âThereâs no doubt that on paper Chris looked strong, and fair play to him, he never gave the club less than 110%,â Ashley explained. âWe might even have pressed for a European spot late doors, but at the end of the day Chris had neither been âsick as a parrotâ nor âover the moonâ for months. Thatâs not a great advert for the game, and certainly no way to run a whelk stall.â
Team Captain Kevin Nolan agreed. âIf the boss had just once come out and said he was gutted, or that he was taking each game as it comes, he might have saved his bacon. A simple observation that football is a game of two halves, or that the lads were working their socks off, might have saved him from an early bath, but it would have been too little too late. No oneâs too good to go down.â
Other Newcastle players have admitted that week in, week out, Hughton failed to hit the back of the cliché net regularly enough. âI never even heard him observe that there are no easy games in this league, or that playing at home was like having an extra player on the pitch. In the modern game thatâs just not acceptable. Heâs been half a yard off the pace and it would have been a big ask to get back into the game from there. The gafferâs basically just lost the dressing room. Thatâs a stonewall sacking.â
But the Magpies squad agreed that Hughton will bounce back. âFormâs temporary, but class is permanent. He might have been sacked, but he stepped down well for a big man. Weâve got a mountain to climb if weâre going to turn our season around, but I really think we can dig ourselves out of it.â
Hughton was philosophical last night as he arrived home at his gated faux-Georgian mansion in Alderley Edge. âIâve had a bad day at the office and Iâve been done up like a kipper. Iâve always avoided clichés like the plague, but you win some you lose some. Itâs a funny old game,â he told reporters.