Jokes

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Ringo Lion said:
That reminds me of the time my attractive neighbour accused me off stealing her underwear off her washing line, it took me ages to reasure her that I had nothing to do with it, infact I nearly **** her pants at one point.
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by the look of those laceys the old one eyed snake has stretched the front quite a bit :emoticon-0105-wink:<whistle>
 
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How to tell what kind of bear is chasing you:

If you're running, then you climb a tree, and the bear follows you, it's a black bear.

If you're running, then you climb a tree, and the bear shakes you out of the tree, it's a brown bear.

If you're running and you can't find a tree, it's a polar bear.
 
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my chinese flatmate phoned me while i was at work and asked, 'have you seen my cocaine?'.....i replied, 'jeez i'm at work, why are you asking about **** like that?
he said 'i need to know have you seen my cocaine'.....i said 'well,the last time was ages ago when he was in zulu'
 
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Makemstine Roger said:
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Still can't forgive that man for stranding me at Victoria Falls airport for 5 hours, when he commandeered our plane, just because his wife had toothache and her dentist was in Harare. I will admit he probably did more atrocious things, but that was the only thing that personally affected me. :)
 
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Reactions: Number 1 Jasper, Makemstine Roger and leeds down south
Little Johnny is playing outside but he needs the toilet
He goes in and grandma steps out of the shower
He says what’s that
Grandma says it’s a beaver
Next day same thing happens but
His mother just comes out of the shower
Little Johnny says I know what that is
It’s a beaver grandma has one
But I think hers is dead
Cause it’s tongue was sticking out
 
Little Johnnys nieghbour had a baby
But it had no ears
His family went to visit them
But Johnny was warned not to say anything about his ears or he would be spanked
Johnny looked in the crib and said
What a beautiful baby
Look at his little feet
His little hands
Is his eyesight ok
The proud mother said
It’s perfect
Johnny replied
Good job he’d be ****ed if he needed glasses
 
Little Johnny goes camping with the school
All the tents are taken so he has to share with the teacher
Can I play with your belly button
My mum always lets me when we go camping
Ok said the teacher
5 minutes later
The teacher says
Woah woah woah
That’s not my belly button
Johnny
Says
Woah woah woah
That’s not my finger
 
If I was addicted to masterbation
And then became addicted to sex
Would it be fair to say my addiction got out of hand
 
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