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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7381
    Diego and Gessa like this.
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7382
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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7383
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  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7384
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  5. Ringo Lion

    Ringo Lion Pumpkin

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    That reminds me of the time my attractive neighbour accused me off stealing her underwear off her washing line, it took me ages to reasure her that I had nothing to do with it, infact I nearly **** her pants at one point.
     
    #7385
    Makemstine Roger and OLOF like this.
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    by the look of those laceys the old one eyed snake has stretched the front quite a bit :emoticon-0105-wink:<whistle>
     
    #7386
    Ringo Lion likes this.
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  8. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    How to tell what kind of bear is chasing you:

    If you're running, then you climb a tree, and the bear follows you, it's a black bear.

    If you're running, then you climb a tree, and the bear shakes you out of the tree, it's a brown bear.

    If you're running and you can't find a tree, it's a polar bear.
     
    #7388
  9. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #7389
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  10. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    my chinese flatmate phoned me while i was at work and asked, 'have you seen my cocaine?'.....i replied, 'jeez i'm at work, why are you asking about **** like that?
    he said 'i need to know have you seen my cocaine'.....i said 'well,the last time was ages ago when he was in zulu'
     
    #7390

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  12. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    Still can't forgive that man for stranding me at Victoria Falls airport for 5 hours, when he commandeered our plane, just because his wife had toothache and her dentist was in Harare. I will admit he probably did more atrocious things, but that was the only thing that personally affected me. :)
     
    #7392
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Little Johnny is playing outside but he needs the toilet
    He goes in and grandma steps out of the shower
    He says what’s that
    Grandma says it’s a beaver
    Next day same thing happens but
    His mother just comes out of the shower
    Little Johnny says I know what that is
    It’s a beaver grandma has one
    But I think hers is dead
    Cause it’s tongue was sticking out
     
    #7393
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Little Johnnys nieghbour had a baby
    But it had no ears
    His family went to visit them
    But Johnny was warned not to say anything about his ears or he would be spanked
    Johnny looked in the crib and said
    What a beautiful baby
    Look at his little feet
    His little hands
    Is his eyesight ok
    The proud mother said
    It’s perfect
    Johnny replied
    Good job he’d be ****ed if he needed glasses
     
    #7394
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Little Johnny goes camping with the school
    All the tents are taken so he has to share with the teacher
    Can I play with your belly button
    My mum always lets me when we go camping
    Ok said the teacher
    5 minutes later
    The teacher says
    Woah woah woah
    That’s not my belly button
    Johnny
    Says
    Woah woah woah
    That’s not my finger
     
    #7395
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    If I was addicted to masterbation
    And then became addicted to sex
    Would it be fair to say my addiction got out of hand
     
    #7396
  17. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7399
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7400
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