Jokes

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it's been reported that the irish are to make a determined effort to eradicate a possible new outbreak of bird flu, even to the point of sending their air force in the planned operation.....personally, i can't see how bombing the canary islands will help
 
caught one of my lads and mates nicking his beer from the fridge, "hey put that back they're mine,you don't see me nicking other people's stuff"......."no you wouldn't have time dad would you,your to busy knocking of that bird across the road when mum's at work"....i said "if you fancy a session lads there's more in the garage"
 
A man is seeking to join the Metropolitan Police force.
The Sergeant doing the interview says:
Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a Tazer across the desk, he says:
"Take this, and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit.
The man being interviewed asks, "Why the rabbit?
"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
Funny as fuk <laugh>
 
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Reactions: Makemstine Roger
scouser sat at a bar and a bloke siddles up to him, obviously a bit camp flicking his hair and manicuring his nails, he leans over to the scouser and whispers into his ear....the scouse says "you ****" and knocks him spark out...the barman says "**** me,what did he say".....scouse replies "dunno...something about a job"