Jokes

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the doc says i have to cut out saturated fat, so no more shagging the wife in the shower
 
William Shatner, alias Captain Kirk, has discontinued his ladies underwear range.

In hindsight "Shatner Knickers" wasn't a good choice of name in the first place.
 
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a chinese guy moved in next door and apparently he is a great cook but his english is limited, he can certainly wok de wok,but can't tok de tok
 
I found myself in a pub in Dublin. A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your great drinkers. I bet €5,000 that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."


The bar was silent, the American noticed Shako leaving, no-one took up the bet. 40 minutes later Shako returned and said "Hey Yank, is your wee bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "30 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of €5,000."


"Grand so" replied our Shaks , "pour the pints and start the clock." It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
"Ok yank, pay up." said Shako
"I'm happy to pay, here is your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?'


Shako replied, "Well sir, €5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it
 
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i fell out of love with science when my extensive research paper failed to be recognized..... into the speed of dark
 
hopefully all the corona virus restrictions are a thing of the past especially as i am booked into the annual carnivores dinner at the rotary club last years was ruined with no atmosphere and everyone sat two meat eaters apart
 
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