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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

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  1. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    #5101
    xbpod, May 5, 2022
    Diego likes this.
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #5102
    Makemstine Roger, May 5, 2022
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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #5103
    Makemstine Roger, May 5, 2022
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  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #5104
    Makemstine Roger, May 5, 2022
    Brizzlewhite, Diego, oldschool and 1 other person like this.
  5. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    the doc says i have to cut out saturated fat, so no more shagging the wife in the shower
     
    #5105
    oldschool, May 5, 2022
  6. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Had me for a while there. Couldn't understand what wearing his thong had to do with fitting well. Then it dawned on me that you lot don't wear your thongs on your feet. <doh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #5106
    brisbane-lion, May 5, 2022
    Eric Le Merde likes this.
  7. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    #5107
    xbpod, May 5, 2022
  8. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    unfortunately it's got to the stage where an "all nighter" means i haven't got up for a piss
     
    #5108
    oldschool, May 5, 2022
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    William Shatner, alias Captain Kirk, has discontinued his ladies underwear range.

    In hindsight "Shatner Knickers" wasn't a good choice of name in the first place.
     
    #5109
    Makemstine Roger, May 5, 2022
    Diego likes this.
  10. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    A limbo dancer walks in to a bar................and loses.
     
    #5110
    brisbane-lion, May 6, 2022
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #5111
    Makemstine Roger, May 6, 2022
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #5112
    Makemstine Roger, May 6, 2022
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  13. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    a chinese guy moved in next door and apparently he is a great cook but his english is limited, he can certainly wok de wok,but can't tok de tok
     
    #5113
    oldschool, May 7, 2022
  14. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #5114
    Old Git, May 7, 2022
    Diego, MIGHTY, Ringo Lion and 5 others like this.
  15. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    #5115
    Gessa, May 7, 2022
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  16. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    I found myself in a pub in Dublin. A group of American tourists came in.
    One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your great drinkers. I bet €5,000 that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."


    The bar was silent, the American noticed Shako leaving, no-one took up the bet. 40 minutes later Shako returned and said "Hey Yank, is your wee bet still on?"
    "Sure" said the American, "30 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of €5,000."


    "Grand so" replied our Shaks , "pour the pints and start the clock." It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
    "Ok yank, pay up." said Shako
    "I'm happy to pay, here is your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?'


    Shako replied, "Well sir, €5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it
     
    #5116
    Gessa, May 7, 2022
    Diego, Ringo Lion, brisbane-lion and 3 others like this.
  17. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    #5117
    xbpod, May 8, 2022
    Ringo Lion, Makemstine Roger, stonkin and 2 others like this.
  18. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    i fell out of love with science when my extensive research paper failed to be recognized..... into the speed of dark
     
    #5118
    oldschool, May 9, 2022
  19. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    hopefully all the corona virus restrictions are a thing of the past especially as i am booked into the annual carnivores dinner at the rotary club last years was ruined with no atmosphere and everyone sat two meat eaters apart
     
    #5119
    oldschool, May 9, 2022
  20. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    #5120
    xbpod, May 9, 2022
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