what a cracking idea are we still doing the Botany Bay tours, crocodile Brissy can be the tour guide
Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
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He's the Duke of York mate, all yours......
brisbane-lion
Well-Known Member
The grand old Duke of York, he had ten thousand men..............his dick was sore for a week.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting flies he responded." O have you killed any yet she asked. "Yep. 3 males 2 females" he replied. Intrigued she asked "how can you tell them
apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the f*****g phone !
apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the f*****g phone !
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag ...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
and at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left hand she held a rope
and in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
and then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek
but Mabel hasn't weathered well
She's eighty four next week !
Watching Mabel bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer
and things then went from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet
a couple minutes later
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator !"
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit !
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out
My God what had I done !
She moaned and groaned, then shouted out:
"Step on the other one !"
Well readers, I can tell no more
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey !
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag ...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
and at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left hand she held a rope
and in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
and then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek
but Mabel hasn't weathered well
She's eighty four next week !
Watching Mabel bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer
and things then went from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet
a couple minutes later
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator !"
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit !
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out
My God what had I done !
She moaned and groaned, then shouted out:
"Step on the other one !"
Well readers, I can tell no more
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey !
The Duke of York WA….he’s all yours
York is the oldest inland town in Western Australia, being situated approximately 97 kilometres by road east of Perth in the Avon Valley, which is one of the most fertile areas of the State.
Ahh the fertility capital so we should send him there to the colonies.
cant do that he doesn't sweat dont you know
bet he does when he has to give evidence though
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its a cracker
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I've often wondered who actually took the photograph?
The Grand Old Duke of York,
He had ten million quid,
Now he doesn't.
The Grand Old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand friends,
But one was a *****phile so he has no friends again.
He had ten million quid,
Now he doesn't.
The Grand Old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand friends,
But one was a *****phile so he has no friends again.
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica .
They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when
they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a
... Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when
they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a
... Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'