A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting flies he responded." O have you killed any yet she asked. "Yep. 3 males 2 females" he replied. Intrigued she asked "how can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the f*****g phone !
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, and at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope and in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, and then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago I might have had a peek but Mabel hasn't weathered well She's eighty four next week ! Watching Mabel bump and grind Could not have been much grimmer and things then went from bad to worse She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet a couple minutes later She put her teeth back in and said "I am a dominator !" Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered. She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit ! Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out My God what had I done ! She moaned and groaned, then shouted out: "Step on the other one !" Well readers, I can tell no more Of what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey !
The Duke of York WA….he’s all yours York is the oldest inland town in Western Australia, being situated approximately 97 kilometres by road east of Perth in the Avon Valley, which is one of the most fertile areas of the State.
The Grand Old Duke of York, He had ten million quid, Now he doesn't. The Grand Old Duke of York, He had ten thousand friends, But one was a *****phile so he has no friends again.
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a ... Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.' So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.' Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was. The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?' The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.' Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs. The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
