Apparently lighting up t'internet in Liverpool ...
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Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
- Start date
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Carrie Johnson Boris Johnson and Michael Gove were holidaying in a Welsh village. One morning they were out walking Boris's dog, and decide to go to a nearby pub for a pint. Twenty minutes later a guy walks up to them, lifts the dog's tail up, then walks out.
A few minutes later, a woman walks into the pub, goes straight up to Boris and Gove, lifts the dog's tail up and walks out.
Boris an Gove look at each other a little bemused.
A few minutes later, yet another woman walks in and again lifts up the dog's tail, an turns to walk out.
" Excuse me", said Boris, "you're the third person to walk in and do that, what's it all about?"
" Oh! It's nothing really" said the woman, but somebody's put it around the village that there's a bitch in the pub with two arseholes "!
A few minutes later, a woman walks into the pub, goes straight up to Boris and Gove, lifts the dog's tail up and walks out.
Boris an Gove look at each other a little bemused.
A few minutes later, yet another woman walks in and again lifts up the dog's tail, an turns to walk out.
" Excuse me", said Boris, "you're the third person to walk in and do that, what's it all about?"
" Oh! It's nothing really" said the woman, but somebody's put it around the village that there's a bitch in the pub with two arseholes "!
what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
Paddy goes for a job interview at a chemical factory the manager asks "Have u worked with chemicals before?" "Yes!" Paddy replies. The manager asks "Can you tell me what nitrate is?" Paddy replies "I'm hoping it's going to be time and a half.
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and
started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity
and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said,
"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration
of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply?
A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
"My wife's first husband."
started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity
and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said,
"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration
of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply?
A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
"My wife's first husband."
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