I once dated a girl with a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was easy really. Jill painted her nails purple and Bob had a beard
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the ceiling! The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. The world champion tongue twister got arrested. I hear they’re going to give him a tough sentence. It’s hard, being a cop in Alaska. You have to ask things like “What were you doing on the night from 15th December till 15th January?”
Manchester United's kit for the 2021/23 season has been released.. Black shirts, Black shorts, Black socks and a whistle.
Bloke walks into a pub wearing black top, shorts and socks, carrying a whistle, I thought, this is gonna kick off soon.
I keep telling him, Aski, but does he listen? He's not my friend and I'm not standing near him in a thunderstorm.
An elderly couple, both whose spouses had died, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively. 'I would like it infrequently' she replied. He sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'
still cant understand why im not his friend ,is it cos my **** stinks please log in to view this image
I was watching TV the other night when my wife came in and asked "what's on the telly" Apparently "Dust" was not the best answer.
Due to Low profit margins Marks & Spencers are to merge with Poundstretcher. The new stores will be called StretchMarks..........
