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Can you imagine if major retailers started making their own condomsand kept the same tag-line..........
Sainsbury Condoms - Making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - Every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load
Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
F CUK condoms - no comment required
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain
Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter!
Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!!
Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole
Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal!!!!
John Smiths condoms - No nonsense
Xbox live condoms - It's fun to play together
McDonalds condoms - I'M LOVIN' IT!
Intel condoms - Intel inside!
Frosties condoms - They're grrrreat
Ariston condoms - On and on with Ariston
 
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A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a

Xmas fancy dress party.

He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden

leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his

problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a

note:



Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted

handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden

leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is

offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he

writes a letter of complaint.. A week passes and he

receives another parcel and note



Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a

monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and

with your bald head you will really look the part. The man

is really incandescent with rage now, because the company

has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing

attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong

letter of complaint.. A few days later he gets a very small

parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:



Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald

head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse

and go as a toffee apple
 
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