Can you imagine if major retailers started making their own condomsand kept the same tag-line.......... Sainsbury Condoms - Making life taste better Tesco Condoms - Every little helps Nike Condoms - Just do it Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk KFC Condoms - Finger licking good Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough Coca Cola condoms - The real thing Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide F CUK condoms - no comment required Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long Renault condoms - size really does matter! Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service Polo condoms - the condom with the hole Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal!!!! John Smiths condoms - No nonsense Xbox live condoms - It's fun to play together McDonalds condoms - I'M LOVIN' IT! Intel condoms - Intel inside! Frosties condoms - They're grrrreat Ariston condoms - On and on with Ariston
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint.. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple
My wife asked me what would stop the stairs from creaking. Apparently Slimming World was not the right answer
