Jokes

[ellandback]

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[lifecheshirewhite]

All sport has been cancelled, but live boxing can be seen in Asda, Aldi, Tesco, Lidl, and Sainsbury.

 

[lifecheshirewhite]

I need to re home a dog it's a small Jack Russell and barks a lot, If anyone's interested I will jump over next doors fence and get it for you.

 

[lifecheshirewhite]

The Chinese next door had Waffles for breakfast.




Bastards, I loved that cat.

 

[Gessa]

My good deed for the day done
So I did a massive shop earlier as there was a big delivery in . Bought loo roll, pasta ,bread ,Soup , hand gels the lot . My trolley was absolutely rammed full. Then I saw this old girl behind me with only two things She looked sad and said “I’ve only managed to get a box of Kleenex and a bag of nuts everything else is gone “ . I felt terrible . Here I am with all this stuff waiting in line and this poor old girl had **** all . So I did the right thing

and said to her “go on love , you go in front , you’ve only got two things.

 

[2 pennth]

I need to re home a dog it's a small Jack Russell and barks a lot, If anyone's interested I will jump over next doors fence and get it for you.

I have the same problem can you jump over my fence it’s 6ft

 

[Whitejock]

Bloke in a tractor just drove past m e and shouted “the end of the world is nigh”

Think it was Farmer Geddon.....



I'll get me coat!

 

[2 pennth]

Bloke in a tractor just drove past m e and shouted “the end of the world is nigh”

Think it was Farmer Geddon.....



I'll get me coat!

I should think so as well

 

[Gessa]

The really attractive 20 something lesbian couple that recently moved in next door to us have just made a sex tape....don't think they know yet.

 

[TC (Lovely Geezer)]

As Italy struggles to cremate it's dead, Angela Merkel has reassured the German public that it can cope with up to 6 million.

 

[lifecheshirewhite]

As Italy struggles to cremate it's dead, Angela Merkel has reassured the German public that it can cope with up to 6 million.

See she's fooked up,she had a Pneumonia jab which most countries have run out of and is only supposed to be for them at most risk,she jumped the queue, but it turns out the Doctor who gave her the vaccination has covid 19.

 

[2 pennth]

As Italy struggles to cremate it's dead, Angela Merkel has reassured the German public that it can cope with up to 6 million.

Have we got proof that this is a justifiable claim after all it seems one hell of a lot to me

 

[FORZA LEEDS]

Have we got proof that this is a justifiable claim after all it seems one hell of a lot to me

TC was joking 2p - this is the joke thread

 

[2 pennth]

TC was joking 2p - this is the joke thread

You obviously did not read between the lines

 

[FORZA LEEDS]

You obviously did not read between the lines

I did, that's the point

 

[Eireleeds1]

Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolates.
He tried in vain to attract attention, but every time he yelled out;
"The Milky Bars are on me!"
People just cheered..

 

[Old Git]

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[2020VisionofLeeds]

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[2 pennth]

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First I’ve heard about this kind of thing but my advise would be
Just smash the bottle you daft xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Eireleeds1]

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