Jokes

[FORZA LEEDS]



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[Ringo Lion]

My Mrs got in the shower with me this morning and told me to do bad things to her....

So I squirted shampoo in her eyes

 

[2020VisionofLeeds]



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To be fair, my wife could reverse her car into a garage.

Or a tree, lamp post, neighbours car, neighbours children ......

 

[Ringo Lion]

This coronavirus has now killed that many Brits Jeremy Corbyn has now come out in support of it

 

[Eireleeds1]

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[2020VisionofLeeds]

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[2020VisionofLeeds]

Rationing in shops varies from store to store.

ASDA: 2 hand sanitisers and a 4 pack of toilet rolls.

TESCO: 1 hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and 4 pack of toilet rolls.

WAITROSE: 1 lobster, 6 quails eggs and 100g of Foie Gras.

ALDI: a MIG welder, a pink sports bra, 2 trumpets and 1 wetsuit.



(I’ve never been in an Aldi shore - it’s not allowed if you a liberal elitist - so don’t understand the joke)

 

[2 pennth]

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You get worse

 

[2 pennth]

Rationing in shops varies from store to store.

ASDA: 2 hand sanitisers and a 4 pack of toilet rolls.

TESCO: 1 hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and 4 pack of toilet rolls.

WAITROSE: 1 lobster, 6 quails eggs and 100g of Foie Gras.

ALDI: a MIG welder, a pink sports bra, 2 trumpets and 1 wetsuit.



(I’ve never been in an Aldi shore - it’s not allowed if you a liberal elitist - so don’t understand the joke)

Never been into a ALDI store, you haven’t lived yet do a nice red for £4-69

 

[Whitejock]

Never been into a ALDI store, you haven’t lived yet do a nice red for £4-69

Agreed. Leeds60 introduced me to Toro Loco from Aldi. A few different versions, all about £4-5. Every one excellent.

 

[2 pennth]

Agreed. Leeds60 introduced me to Toro Loco from Aldi. A few different versions, all about £4-5. Every one excellent.

Mines Rockstone Ridge lovely and smooth

 

[2020VisionofLeeds]

You get worse

Thank you

 

[2020VisionofLeeds]

Agreed. Leeds60 introduced me to Toro Loco from Aldi. A few different versions, all about £4-5. Every one excellent.

I’m on my way

I’ll even remove my Rejoin lapel badge before I get there.

 

[brisbane-lion]

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Ooooh, noooo!

 

[brisbane-lion]

Never been into a ALDI store, you haven’t lived yet do a nice red for £4-69

Not in Queensland. Not allowed to sell grog in supermarkets. I know, I know, Queensland, fifty years behind the rest of the world.

 

[Eireleeds1]

Not in Queensland. Not allowed to sell grog in supermarkets. I know, I know, Queensland, fifty years behind the rest of the world.

Or maybe 50 years ahead of rest of world

 

[2 pennth]

Not in Queensland. Not allowed to sell grog in supermarkets. I know, I know, Queensland, fifty years behind the rest of the world.

There’s no answer to that Brissy

 

[2020VisionofLeeds]

Not in Queensland. Not allowed to sell grog in supermarkets. I know, I know, Queensland, fifty years behind the rest of the world.

That still puts you ahead of Norfolk, where my wife's family live.

 

[Eric Le Merde]

Somebody explained to me yesterday why toilet rolls are so much in demand, perhaps you all know by now, Apparently it's because if somebody sneezes in a crowded place a couple of hundred people sh!t themselves.

 

[milkyboy]

Rationing in shops varies from store to store.

ASDA: 2 hand sanitisers and a 4 pack of toilet rolls.

TESCO: 1 hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and 4 pack of toilet rolls.

WAITROSE: 1 lobster, 6 quails eggs and 100g of Foie Gras.

ALDI: a MIG welder, a pink sports bra, 2 trumpets and 1 wetsuit.



(I’ve never been in an Aldi shore - it’s not allowed if you a liberal elitist - so don’t understand the joke)

everyone’s been getting in on this stockpiling and selling at a premium malarkey. Went to the gym today and the car valet guy of all people had a sign saying “hand wash £15”