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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

Page 15 of 443
  1. FORZA LEEDS

    FORZA LEEDS Well-Known Member

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     upload_2020-3-2_14-6-45.png

    
     
    #281
    FORZA LEEDS, Mar 2, 2020
    Eireleeds1, Ringo Lion, Farsleyexile and 4 others like this.
  2. Ringo Lion

    Ringo Lion Pumpkin

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    My Mrs got in the shower with me this morning and told me to do bad things to her....

    So I squirted shampoo in her eyes
     
    #282
    Ringo Lion, Mar 3, 2020
    FORZA LEEDS, Gessa and Farsleyexile like this.
  3. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    To be fair, my wife could reverse her car into a garage.

    Or a tree, lamp post, neighbours car, neighbours children ......
     
    #283
    2020VisionofLeeds, Mar 3, 2020
    Eireleeds1, Ringo Lion, brisbane-lion and 5 others like this.
  4. Ringo Lion

    Ringo Lion Pumpkin

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    This coronavirus has now killed that many Brits Jeremy Corbyn has now come out in support of it
     
    #284
    Ringo Lion, Mar 15, 2020
    2020VisionofLeeds, Farsleyexile, lifecheshirewhite and 1 other person like this.
  5. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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    8BDAC8A8-4918-4116-8235-50BA836D47A7.jpeg
     
    #285
    Eireleeds1, Mar 17, 2020
    Farsleyexile and FORZA LEEDS like this.
  6. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    7E3D8B03-1CCB-46B7-B6C8-B120E09E8B0C.jpeg
     
    #286
    2020VisionofLeeds, Mar 17, 2020
    Farsleyexile, wakeybreakyheart, Eireleeds1 and 2 others like this.
  7. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    Rationing in shops varies from store to store.

    ASDA: 2 hand sanitisers and a 4 pack of toilet rolls.

    TESCO: 1 hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and 4 pack of toilet rolls.

    WAITROSE: 1 lobster, 6 quails eggs and 100g of Foie Gras.

    ALDI: a MIG welder, a pink sports bra, 2 trumpets and 1 wetsuit.



    (I’ve never been in an Aldi shore - it’s not allowed if you a liberal elitist - so don’t understand the joke)
     
    #287
    2020VisionofLeeds, Mar 17, 2020
    Farsleyexile, brisbane-lion and Jammy 07 like this.
  8. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    #288
    2 pennth, Mar 17, 2020
  9. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    Never been into a ALDI store, you haven’t lived yet do a nice red for £4-69
     
    #289
    2 pennth, Mar 17, 2020
    2020VisionofLeeds and Whitejock like this.
  10. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Agreed. Leeds60 introduced me to Toro Loco from Aldi. A few different versions, all about £4-5. Every one excellent.
     
    #290
    Whitejock, Mar 17, 2020
    2020VisionofLeeds likes this.

  11. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    Mines Rockstone Ridge lovely and smooth
     
    #291
    2 pennth, Mar 17, 2020
    2020VisionofLeeds and Whitejock like this.
  12. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    Thank you <ok>
     
    #292
    2020VisionofLeeds, Mar 18, 2020
  13. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    I’m on my way ;)

    I’ll even remove my Rejoin lapel badge before I get there.
     
    #293
    2020VisionofLeeds, Mar 18, 2020
  14. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    #294
    brisbane-lion, Mar 18, 2020
  15. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Not in Queensland. Not allowed to sell grog in supermarkets. I know, I know, Queensland, fifty years behind the rest of the world.
     
    #295
    brisbane-lion, Mar 18, 2020
  16. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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    Or maybe 50 years ahead of rest of world
     
    #296
    Eireleeds1, Mar 18, 2020
  17. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    There’s no answer to that Brissy
     
    #297
    2 pennth, Mar 18, 2020
  18. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    That still puts you ahead of Norfolk, where my wife's family live.
     
    #298
    2020VisionofLeeds, Mar 18, 2020
  19. Eric Le Merde

    Eric Le Merde Well-Known Member

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    Somebody explained to me yesterday why toilet rolls are so much in demand, perhaps you all know by now, Apparently it's because if somebody sneezes in a crowded place a couple of hundred people sh!t themselves.
     
    #299
    Eric Le Merde, Mar 18, 2020
    Farsleyexile and 2 pennth like this.
  20. milkyboy

    milkyboy Well-Known Member

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    everyone’s been getting in on this stockpiling and selling at a premium malarkey. Went to the gym today and the car valet guy of all people had a sign saying “hand wash £15”
     
    #300
    milkyboy, Mar 18, 2020
    Infidel, ellandback, Eireleeds1 and 3 others like this.
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