My mate with no arms or legs was going to swim across the river wear for charity, but it was so cold he had to get out halfway across because he had cramp in his ears.
Just got in from this year's schizophrenic nativity pantomime, it was a great show until we shouted "he's behind you", that's when it all kicked off.
A veteran who lost both his legs and his right arm in an Afghanistan bomb blast may have won the world record for the fastest triple amputee 1km swim. Former Royal Marine Mark Ormrod MBE, from Plymouth, suffered the catastrophic injuries when he stood on a landmine in 2007. Mr Ormrod completed his time in about 35 minutes and is now waiting for confirmation he has beat the record. He said it "wasn't too cold" and he "enjoyed it".
