Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Poly

    Poly Active Member

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  2. Poly

    Poly Active Member

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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    bollocks its a rocket launcher always has and always will be recoilless rifle ****e <laugh><laugh><laugh> it takes two to fire it and has 6ft of flames come out of its arse with quite a kick needing two for stability once fired, it sets fire to the soil and blows back to you with tiny particles of red hot dirt ignited by the red hot flames, when you sign for it out of the armoury it is listed as Karl Gustav, and as I've fired it and it was my weapon being the marksman for this equipment . You on the other hand are too chicken **** to ever serve, you look up on wiki only the person who posted wrote it from an American arms mag and didn't get a good translation to English. I don't think the Americans were ever issued with this kit as they had there own equivalent, As British airborne need a portable field usable tank killer this was ideal. Now run along you have shown everyone you are ignorant in this field however you have shown feline traits as there is nothing as vengeful as a woman scorned.as you have been spanked again
     
    #2123
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  4. stonkin

    stonkin Well-Known Member

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    #2124
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  5. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    You've lost me. what did I miss?
     
    #2125
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    freedom of speech mate and a raging leftie from Georgia telling us no demanding we should support Biden and didnt like the return responses, so went running to the mods ignore the skirmishes and the real conflict starts around 20086 with blonogasoven reply as Poly starts to wet her underwire and stamp her feet and throws the toys out of the pram, some use more gentleman type approach, but i try to be civil until forced to treat it like the gobshite it is

    so 20086 get a beer first
     
    #2126
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  7. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Tried to follow it but got bored. So much shiite. For a start, Poly claimed that we have a written constitution in the UK. Oddly enough, the first thing we were taught when I studied law was that the UK is the ONLY country in the world without a written constitution. Our law is based on case law & judicial precedent (but I'm a wee bit hazier on this). Just because this is documented doesn't mean that it's a written constitution, simply a lot of disparate original documents collectively used as originating reference points. It's a very rare thing for them to be directly referenced in law these days.
     
    #2127
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2021
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    your totally right poly started highlighting my posts expecting me to reply got bored some were as long as war and peace, then i said just said F O boring twat ..bang report button on me
     
    #2128
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  9. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    I remember very many moons ago
    Sitting with a pint in my hands overlooking the fields of Runnymead and thinking to myself.
    Someday someone by the name of Poly will think that an English constitution was written here
    True dat
    Well the first part was, but you get my drift
     
    #2129
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #2130

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #2131
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  12. milkyboy

    milkyboy Well-Known Member

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    not quite the full story wj ... we don’t have a single written constitution and ours does involve precedent and judicial decisions etc, but it’s largely based on hundreds of years of treaties and especially acts of parliament, which are obviously written laws.

    the uk constitution is often referred to as unwritten, but really it’s ‘uncodified’. Ie it’s not written in one document like most countries, but more a large collection of independently created laws/acts. Basically we haven’t been successfully invaded since 1066 (well technically not correct if you’re Scottish obviously;)) so there’s been a lot of continuity, that most other countries haven’t had, and no reason to rip up the constitution and start again.

    There are a few other countries that for one reason or another don’t have a written constitution too.
     
    #2132
  13. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Or if you are a Channel islander.
     
    #2133
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  14. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    A woman chose to remain overnight in a hotel as a treat for her significant birthday.
    The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for £250.00. She requested to know why the charge was so high.
    "It's a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast," she told the clerk.
    The clerk clarified that £250.00 is the standard rate. At that point, the woman insisted on talking with the manager.
    The manager showed up and explained that the hotel "has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
    "But I didn't use them," the woman said.
    "Well, they are here, and you could have," he replied.
    The manager proceeded with that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
    "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," he said.
    "But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
    The manager replied, "Well, we have them, and you could have."
    Regardless of what facility he recommended, the woman would just answer, "But I didn't use it!"
    The manager then countered with his standard reaction. After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay.
    The manager was shocked when she gave the cheque to him. "But madam, this check is for only £50.00," he said.
    "That is right. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," the woman replied.
    "But I didn't!" the manager shouted.
    "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
     
    #2134
  15. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #2135
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  16. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Good lad! It's been 45 year since I studied law as part of my BA. Accounting, so memory is not great. Doesn't help that I failed! :) I still remember the speech, but clearly not all the words from my lecturer, who was in full flow basturd mode. Reflecting back, he may have qualified our unwritten constitution as being the oldest in the world (your 1066 comment triggered the memory). Cheers, mate.
     
    #2136
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  17. milkyboy

    milkyboy Well-Known Member

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    <ok> Disclaimer: I dragged that up from distant memories of the politics degree I did over 30 years ago fella, and since I can’t remember what I had for breakfast today you might not want to take all it as gospel <laugh>
     
    #2137
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  18. esteponawhite

    esteponawhite Well-Known Member

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    Milky, remember that 50 quid I once lent you in a pub?
    <whistle>
     
    #2138
  19. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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  20. wakeycentraloneleeds

    wakeycentraloneleeds Well-Known Member

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