**** jokes thread
- Thread starter PINKIE
- Start date
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Why can't you have a nose 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Because then it would be a foot.
I bought a pair of trainers of my dealer the other day.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep-ends.
It deep-ends.
**** off Piskie I'd be willing to wager that you already posted that in this thread
Maybe... but it doesn't matter.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body ?
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
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I got banned from B&Q today. Some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking.
Lucky I got my punch in first.
Lucky I got my punch in first.
Doctors surgery.
D Good morning, what seems to be the problem?
P it’s a bit embarrassing!
D well, I’ve been a doctor over 20:years, I think I’ve heard most problems
P I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my arse
D I beg your pardon, what did you say!?
P I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my arse, I told you it was embarrassing!
D How’s that?
P Don’t you ****ing start!!.....
D Good morning, what seems to be the problem?
P it’s a bit embarrassing!
D well, I’ve been a doctor over 20:years, I think I’ve heard most problems
P I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my arse
D I beg your pardon, what did you say!?
P I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my arse, I told you it was embarrassing!
D How’s that?
P Don’t you ****ing start!!.....
I got a phone call from the school yesterday, they said that my son had been telling lies.
I told them that he must be very good at it, as I don't have a son.
I told them that he must be very good at it, as I don't have a son.
A man is given one wish by a Genie, 'Wish for anything you want'
'I want to be Rich !' says the man
'Your wish is my command Richard' says the Genie.
'I want to be Rich !' says the man
'Your wish is my command Richard' says the Genie.
I found a wallet yesterday with £20 in it. I didn't know whether to hand it in or keep it.
So I thought to myself 'What would Jesus do ?'
So I turned it into Wine.
So I thought to myself 'What would Jesus do ?'
So I turned it into Wine.
My brother didn't cope very well when he was sent to Jail
He refused to eat, or drink, smashed up his room and smeared **** all over the walls.
After that, we never played Monopoly again.
He refused to eat, or drink, smashed up his room and smeared **** all over the walls.
After that, we never played Monopoly again.
I went to the fart doctors and said fart I can’t fart stop farting every few fart seconds fart I keep farting the doctor goes out the room and comes back in with a big pole I said bloody fart hell you aren’t fart going to shove that up fart my arse are you he says no I am going to open the window you ****ing stink
