Why did the blonde throw herself off a bridge? Because she had low self esteem and clinical depression...
The same lad who shagged the camel was told if he went down the oasis he would find an ostrich with its head in the sand and if you sneak up behind you can slip it in when he came back to the camp his uniform was ripped to shreds, when his mate said what happened he said I slipped in alright but it got a shock and started running and after about a 100 yards I got out of step.
Lion walking through the jungle comes across a rabbit and askes "who's the king of the jungle" Terrified rabbit "you sir" Lion roars and says "don't you forget it" Further on the lion meets a deer "who's the king of the jungle" Deer "you sir" Lion roars and says "don't you forget it" Further still the lion meets an elephant "who's the king of the jungle" The elephant picks the lion up in his trunk, smashes it into several trees then throws it across a clearing into some rocks. The lion picks himself up, shakes himself and says "**** me fella, no need to get ****ty just coz you don't know the answer".
Two blondes were walking through a forest when they found a set of tracks Oh look says the first, Deer tracks No says the second, they're Badger tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Two nuns cycling back through the village on the way to the convent, First nun "I've never come this way before" Second nun "neither have I, it must be the cobbles"
Metths uncle says here's a joke for you son. '****' I don't get it says metths.. That's the problem son, says uncle
Mr Whippy was found dead, today, with a chocolate flake up his arse, sprinkles on his bollocks, and strawberry sauce smeared over his helmet. Police think he topped himself.
Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night. He was so bad, a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
