Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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Just got back from taking part in the kleptomaniac championships.
Did really well , took the gold.....and the silver. …. and the bronze
Did really well , took the gold.....and the silver. …. and the bronze
I keep having a recurring dream that I’m a horse
That’s 5 nights on the trot now!
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That’s 5 nights on the trot now!
If Elton John thinks "Sorry" is the hardest word
he wants to try saying Llanfairpwllgwyllgorndrobwillantysiliohogogoch
he wants to try saying Llanfairpwllgwyllgorndrobwillantysiliohogogoch
England 0 Iceland 1
I hope they have a better result against Tesco and Asda......
I hope they have a better result against Tesco and Asda......
I was having dinner with a Chess champion.
The tablecloth was black and white checks.
It took him two hours to pass the salt.
The tablecloth was black and white checks.
It took him two hours to pass the salt.
Andrei Kanchelskis's story of his meeting with Sir Alex Ferguson is hilarious
“Whenever a foreign footballer comes into a dressing room, he will be taught how to swear. I've seen exactly the same thing with Brazilian players when I have been managing in Russia.
They also taught me the correct way to address the manager of Manchester United. Almost the first time I came across Alex Ferguson in the corridors of the Cliff, he said to me, 'All right, Andrei, how's it going?'
I smiled at him and replied, 'F*ck off, Scottish b**tard.'
Ferguson stopped dead in his tracks and then began to smile as he heard laughter echoing down the corridor, while I stood there bewildered.”
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“Whenever a foreign footballer comes into a dressing room, he will be taught how to swear. I've seen exactly the same thing with Brazilian players when I have been managing in Russia.
They also taught me the correct way to address the manager of Manchester United. Almost the first time I came across Alex Ferguson in the corridors of the Cliff, he said to me, 'All right, Andrei, how's it going?'
I smiled at him and replied, 'F*ck off, Scottish b**tard.'
Ferguson stopped dead in his tracks and then began to smile as he heard laughter echoing down the corridor, while I stood there bewildered.”
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