Off Topic Jokes thread

For Christmas I bought my Auntie a brand new wooden leg.
I didn't have it specially made, I got it off the peg.
You may say it's not a nice gift, or that it's not a killer,
It's not her proper present though...it's just a stocking filler!!
 
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On their 25th wedding anniversary a golf mad husband and wife went for a game.
The husband is just about to tee off when he turns to his wife and says “ I have to tell you something , at the wedding rehearsal I had a bonk with one of your bridesmaids, it was only the once but I’ve felt guilty ever since,I’m so sorry “.
The wife thinks for a moment and says “that’s ok, it was only once and I forgive you”.
She then goes to tee off but stops and turns to him,” I have to tell you something, ”what?, says the husband a bit worried,.
“Before I met you, way before I met you ,” what says hubby?. “ I was a ……..man!. I had all the surgeries and became a woman.
The husband thinks for a minute then does his nut, throws his club, kicks his bag over and says “ you cheating bitch, how could you?, for 25 years you’ve been playing off the womens tee!
 
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