My missus just asked, "Can you get some bleach and some washing powder whilst you're out?" "Can you not wait until you've opened your Christmas presents?" I replied.
For Christmas I bought my Auntie a brand new wooden leg. I didn't have it specially made, I got it off the peg. You may say it's not a nice gift, or that it's not a killer, It's not her proper present though...it's just a stocking filler!!
On their 25th wedding anniversary a golf mad husband and wife went for a game. The husband is just about to tee off when he turns to his wife and says “ I have to tell you something , at the wedding rehearsal I had a bonk with one of your bridesmaids, it was only the once but I’ve felt guilty ever since,I’m so sorry “. The wife thinks for a moment and says “that’s ok, it was only once and I forgive you”. She then goes to tee off but stops and turns to him,” I have to tell you something, ”what?, says the husband a bit worried,. “Before I met you, way before I met you ,” what says hubby?. “ I was a ……..man!. I had all the surgeries and became a woman. The husband thinks for a minute then does his nut, throws his club, kicks his bag over and says “ you cheating bitch, how could you?, for 25 years you’ve been playing off the womens tee!
