Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate, “I'm stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters, starting with M.”
He said, “Marooned.”
I said, “Thanks, I'll have a pint of lager then!”
He said, “Marooned.”
I said, “Thanks, I'll have a pint of lager then!”
I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.
I'm in A & E now, waiting to see a cardyologist.
I'm in A & E now, waiting to see a cardyologist.
- A half Jewish, half black Kid asks his Mom"Mom, am I mostly Jewish or mostly black?"
- "That"s a dumb question" she replies "Go bother your Dad, already"
- Off he goes - "Dad, would you say I"m mostly Jewish or mostly black?"
- "You"re just you, son, why are you asking dumb-ass questions like that?"
- "Well, my friend"s selling his bike for 50 bucks and I don"t know whether to Jew him down to 25 or just wait until dark and steal the fcuker"
- I still say that Jill Dando was killed by a lesbian....
- Obviously by someone she fingered on Crimewatch.
How can you tell when you are flying over Scotland?
The toilet paper on the washing lines.
The toilet paper on the washing lines.