Off Topic Jokes thread

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A group of Arizona bikers were riding on the US-93 heading South when they came to the Hoover Dam where they saw a girl about to jump to her death.

So they stopped their bikes and George, their 53 year-old burly leader, got off and made his way through the throng of gawkers, and passed the State Trooper who had been despatched to talk the girl down, and stopped near to where the girl was standing.

George looked up at her and said “Watchca babe .... what you doing up there in that railing?”

“I’m going to kill myself ...” she tearfully responded.

Whilst he didn’t want to appear to be sensitive, George also didn’t want to miss the opportunity to ‘be a legend.’

“Hey honey babe, why don’t you give old George here your best last kiss before you jump?”

So, without hesitation, she leaned back over the railings and gave George a long lingering kiss, quickly followed by an even longer and better smacker.

After they breathlessly finished, George was given the thumbs-up from his fellow bikers, and even the State Trooper gave a nod of approval.

“Wow, Honey, that’s the best kiss I’ve ever had. That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts.”

“You could be famous if you joined our band of bikers.”

“Why do you want to kill yourself?” asked George

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.....
 
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  • A couple have two kids.
  • The chap"s company make him area sales manager - it is more money, but involves stays away from home.
  • He comes back from a week at a sales conference one day, walks in and says, "I want to f*ck you senseless."
  • His wife goes, "Shush, not in front of the kids - we have to be more responsible! How about saying "I"ve got some washing to do since I"ve been away"?"
  • The husband agreed agreed.
  • Two weeks later, he"s back from a trip and says, "I"ve got some washing to do."
  • "Fine. Just a minute," says his wife, "I"m feeding the kids."
  • Two hours later she says, "I can do your washing now."
  • "No need, it was only a small load so I did it by hand."
 
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