Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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My blonde wife and I got into an argument because I accused her of being stupid.
Eventually she jumped up out of her chair and yelled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out that door!"
I replied, "The plane hasn't landed yet."
Eventually she jumped up out of her chair and yelled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out that door!"
I replied, "The plane hasn't landed yet."
The England team visited an orphanage in Russia yesterday.
"It's heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope" said Vladimir, aged 6.
"It's heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope" said Vladimir, aged 6.
I asked my boss, "What do you want me to do with this 6 meter roll of bubble wrap?"
He replied, "Just pop it in the corner." ...............4 f*cking hours it took me!
He replied, "Just pop it in the corner." ...............4 f*cking hours it took me!
Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?
Stirling Moss.
Lewis Hamilton.
Eddie Irvine.
Ayr Town centre.
Stirling Moss.
Lewis Hamilton.
Eddie Irvine.
Ayr Town centre.
Gareth Southgate has set up a friendly match against Iceland to try and cheer fans up.
If we beat them then we go on to play Tesco's and then Sainsbury's.
If we beat them then we go on to play Tesco's and then Sainsbury's.
The England game will be moved to the Gay Adult TV channel next week as the screening of eleven arse holes being hammered for 90 minutes is considered too explicit for ITV.
As England continues to struggle on the field a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch -
Police are still trying to work out whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.
Police are still trying to work out whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.