For f*ck sake one of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported!
Now we don't have Oleg to stand on!
Now we don't have Oleg to stand on!
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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- A man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, when they started kissing, and then one thing led to another, but then the girl quickly stopped him and said "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I"m actually a prostitute and I charge 20 quid for sex,"
- The man just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
- After a cigarette, he just sat in the driver"s seat looking out the window.
- "Why aren"t we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
- "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I"m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is 25 quid."
- Walking down the high street, a woman spies a shop doorway she"s never seen before.
- Pinned to the front is a sign: "Clit-licking frog-inside".
- Checking to make sure no-one"s watching, she darts in, only to find an almost bare store.
- "Er, can you help me?" she asks the man behind the counter.
- He looks up and grins widely."Oui, mademoiselle!"
- The other day I phoned my local pizza delivery firm and asked for a thin and crusty supreme.
- They sent me Diana Ross.
- A bloke goes into the doctors and says, "I"ve got a mole on my dick, can you remove it please?"
- So the chap pulls his trousers and pants down, and the doc says,
- "Yes sir, I can remove that mole... but I"m afraid I"m going to have to report you to the RSPCA."
- This old couple are walking around a car boot sale , when they notice on a stall-an offer of 5 toilet brushes for a fiver,
- both impressed they buy the toilet brushes, the following week the old lady is again on the car boot-and she passes the same stall when the owner says "How are you getting on with those toilet brushes?" and the little old dear says
- " Well i"m persevering , but the old man"s gone back to paper"
- Q. How many ears does Spock have?
- A. 3. A left ear, a right ear and a final frontier.