Premature ejaculator seeks bubbly, blonde female with big ti...
Hang on, doesn't matter now.
Hang on, doesn't matter now.
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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A farmer buys a young Cock. As soon as he gets it home,it f*cks all the 150 hens.
The farmer is impressed. At lunch the Cock again screws all 150 hens. Next day,it's f*cking the Ducks,and the Geese too.
Sadly,later in the day,he finds the Cock lying on the ground half-dead,and Vultures circling overhead. Farmer says,"You deserved it,you Horny B*stard!"
The Cock opens one eye, points up and says..........."Ssshhh. They're about to land!!"
The farmer is impressed. At lunch the Cock again screws all 150 hens. Next day,it's f*cking the Ducks,and the Geese too.
Sadly,later in the day,he finds the Cock lying on the ground half-dead,and Vultures circling overhead. Farmer says,"You deserved it,you Horny B*stard!"
The Cock opens one eye, points up and says..........."Ssshhh. They're about to land!!"
I staggered in pissed out of my head last night.
My wife stormed up to me and punched me in the face.
I said "You should be a boxer"She said
"Why, am I a hard puncher?"
I said "No, your nose is flat and bent and you"re ugly".
My wife stormed up to me and punched me in the face.
I said "You should be a boxer"She said
"Why, am I a hard puncher?"
I said "No, your nose is flat and bent and you"re ugly".
Mick: "Do you have an idol?"
Paddy: "Yes, my dad. I worship the ground he rolls on."
Mick: "Rolls? Is he in a wheelchair?"
Paddy: "No, he"s a drunk."
Paddy: "Yes, my dad. I worship the ground he rolls on."
Mick: "Rolls? Is he in a wheelchair?"
Paddy: "No, he"s a drunk."
For eighteen years my husband and I were the happiest people in the world!
Then we met.
Then we met.
I went to the doctor today to talk about contraception.
She said "You could try French letters".
I said "What"s that?"
She said "Condoms"
I said "I don"t like them".
So she said "You should try the French Army method then".
I said "What"s that?"
She said "You pull out before you get into trouble!".
She said "You could try French letters".
I said "What"s that?"
She said "Condoms"
I said "I don"t like them".
So she said "You should try the French Army method then".
I said "What"s that?"
She said "You pull out before you get into trouble!".
I got thrown out of the cinema for taking my own food yesterday.
Been ages since I've had a barbecue.
Been ages since I've had a barbecue.