How do you tell when an Indian boy becomes a man? When the nappy goes from the arse to the head......
According to Oxfam 2 pounds a month can provide water for a village in Tanzania. So why do fcuking Thames Water charge me 50 pounds a month for my 3 bed semi?
A man walks into a pub and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the landlord what its for. The landlord replies every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar. The man asks what are the tasks First the landlord points to a six foot twenty stone bouncer on the door. You see that bouncer over there? You have to go over and take him out with one punch. Then, well, there's our alsatian out the back. He"s had a sore tooth for the last month and all you have to do is pull it out. Finally, my gran is upstairs. She"s 80 and hasn't had sex for twenty years. You have to go and satisfy her every desire, but you have to put down ten pounds to play. Later after plenty of drinks, the man staggers up to the counter, slaps down a ten pound note and says right I'm in. He staggers over to the bouncer and swings. One punch and hes out cold. Then he staggers out the back and for the next ten minutes all that can be heard is the sound of snarling, yelling. grunting, swearing and finally yelping. Then the man staggers back in, clothes in tatters, covered in blood, goes over to the landlord and says "right wheres the granny with the sore tooth".
How many animals can you fit into a pair of tights? 10 Little piggies, 2 Calves, 1 Ass, 1 Pussy, 1 Beaver, An unknown number of hares, and one dead fish no one can find.
