I went into a bar the other day and ordered 8 double whiskeys and downed them one after the other. "I shouldn't be drinking like this with what I've got" I said to the barman. "Why what is it" he asked? "83 pence" I replied.
Despite previously saying he’d never use the NHS, a zoo animal has now been hospitalised. His condition is described as Hippo-critical.....
When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren"t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
What are the worst things about being an egg? You only get laid once,you only get eaten once,you only get hard once,you come in a box with five other guysand the only chick to ever sit on your face is your mother.
My therapist told me that Tantric Sex was a great cure for premature ejaculation, so I tried it, and he was wrong. Luckily the photo of my Wife still works a treat.
