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Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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Man Utd were 13th when they sacked Ten Hag
Since then, they have:
Signed Ruben Amorim, turned Amad into Messi and Maguire into Maldini, removed Rashford from the squad, beat Man City away in the derby and outplayed Liverpool at Anfield.
Since then, they have:
Signed Ruben Amorim, turned Amad into Messi and Maguire into Maldini, removed Rashford from the squad, beat Man City away in the derby and outplayed Liverpool at Anfield.
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Which comedy really rattles the modern day I'm offended brigade the most................
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He must have pinched a Glump
A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing."Officer," he asks, "have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?"
"No, I haven't. What's the problem?""The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!""Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?" the officer asked.
"Well, yes," the barber replies. "He's carrying one of his ears in his left hand."
"No, I haven't. What's the problem?""The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!""Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?" the officer asked.
"Well, yes," the barber replies. "He's carrying one of his ears in his left hand."
HE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS!.......
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This bloke asked if he could use my field for a civil war re enactment.
I thought, sod that for a game of soldiers......
I thought, sod that for a game of soldiers......
Three people having sex is called a threesome.
Two people having sex is called a twosome.
Guess that’s why you’re people call you handsome.
Two people having sex is called a twosome.
Guess that’s why you’re people call you handsome.
Pompey announce new third kit for next season........
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1st old lady: My joints are feeling stiff.
2nd old lady: You're rolling them too tight
2nd old lady: You're rolling them too tight
My wife apologised to me today for the first time.
She said she was sorry she married me.
She said she was sorry she married me.
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