I went to Mothercare this morning and asked for a maternity dress. The assistant said “What bust?” I said “ The condom”
A toff staying at the Ritz hotel in London gets a card offering female companionship and sexual favours pushed under his hotel door. Having been alone for a number of months he decided to ring the number on the card. A lady with a very soft voice asks if she can be of any help. The toff then says to her that he’s staying in the Ritz and that he would like her to visit his room stating he would pay her well if she gave him the very best time. She replied saying he sounded very nice and thanking him for the offer but advised him that he needed to dial 9 for an outside line when wanting to make a phone call.
