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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I’ve just been diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.

    The doctor had prescribed mycoxafloppin.
     
    #27161
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 6, 2023
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27162
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27163
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27164
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27165
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27166
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27167
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27168
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27169
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Joe, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try.
    On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him
    that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret.
    "Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked.
    The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well."
    Joe thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left.
    The next day, Joe returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck.
    Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish.
    "Excuse me," asked Joe, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?"
    "Well, I can but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am using a bit of human appendix."
    "Hmm," thought Joe. It seemed that the fish in this lake would require a little more effort than normal. He left, willing to give the lake one more try.
    On the third day, Joe still had no luck. As was usual, there was yet another man near him bringing in fish left and right. Joe wanted to confirm what he already knew.
    "Excuse me sir, but are you a doctor?"
    "No, I am a Rabbi."
     
    #27170
    antipodean exile, Jun 7, 2023
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Sorry anti, but my laptop has decided that it will not let me "copy and paste" anymore for some reason, so I am a bit stymied at the moment. It's only a few years old, so no idea what the problem is. Feckin' computers !!
     
    #27171
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2023
  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Hang in their brother I'll keep the home fires burning - weather looks to be turning better unfortunately the Aussies seem to firing - the high command is pleased which makes a pleasant change - I'm going to the first day of the final test at the Oval looking forward to us being 4 nil up - cheers <cheers>
     
    #27172
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27173
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  14. antipodean exile

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    #27174
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  15. antipodean exile

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    #27175
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #27176
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  17. antipodean exile

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    #27177
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #27178
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Or the view from the Weatherspoons toilet.......................
     
    #27179
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #27180
    antipodean exile, Jun 10, 2023
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