Kenny Rodgers lol that’ll cheer you up.
You picked a fine time to leave me....... insert players name
Transfer Rumours January Transfers Thread
- Thread starter General Lee Speaking
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You picked a fine time to leave me....... insert players name
If we have £25m, spend it on the lad. Or just go with £20m, it's worth it. If we baulked at Jorgensen, there should be a cheque waiting for Selke if we can get him. Has the potential to be worth £50m+. No brainer, if it's possible.
A bit of light relief for all those considering suicide over the transfer window, Paul Merson on the game against Burnley:
“This is another massive football match.
“Newcastle went out of the cup at the weekend so it’s another year without a trophy.
“Newcastle will be under pressure to bounce back against Burnley at St James’ Park.
“Burnley have hit a bit of a brick wall of late. Their results have started to level out after what was an unbelievable start to the season.
“However, I thought they were very unlucky against (ED: Manchester!) United and could have even sneaked a draw.
“With another performance like that, I’m backing them to sneak a win.”
Did he really just say "another year without a trophy"?
I mean technically he is right of course but I think this highlights why raging alcoholics shouldn't be allowed to get involved with public commentary.
“This is another massive football match.
“Newcastle went out of the cup at the weekend so it’s another year without a trophy.
“Newcastle will be under pressure to bounce back against Burnley at St James’ Park.
“Burnley have hit a bit of a brick wall of late. Their results have started to level out after what was an unbelievable start to the season.
“However, I thought they were very unlucky against (ED: Manchester!) United and could have even sneaked a draw.
“With another performance like that, I’m backing them to sneak a win.”
Did he really just say "another year without a trophy"?
I mean technically he is right of course but I think this highlights why raging alcoholics shouldn't be allowed to get involved with public commentary.
https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/we-back-ourselves-survive-matt-14220553
Well said Matt Ritchie, lets hope our flimsy "we must get a striker" support get behind you all.
Well said Matt Ritchie, lets hope our flimsy "we must get a striker" support get behind you all.
Come on Spack. You know we can't compete on wages with Brighton. Can not and will not!
Mike has handed over the warchest.
I do concede however that its questionable if Rafa is as big a pull as Chrissy Hughton. Top manager is Chrissy.
Very good manager. Worth a look when they replace Southgate
As we are in desperate need of a goalscorer we have made the decision to try and sign... Mangala. On a permanent deal. I'm guessing Rafa probably wants to boost our 'strikers' confidence in training sessions.
Keith DownieVerified account@SkySports_Keith 34m34 minutes ago
Understand Newcastle have made an enquiry to Manchester City over the availability of Eliaquim Mangala. However any bid/agreement is unlikely unless City reduce their asking price. City keen to offload.
Keith DownieVerified account@SkySports_Keith 34m34 minutes ago
Understand Newcastle have made an enquiry to Manchester City over the availability of Eliaquim Mangala. However any bid/agreement is unlikely unless City reduce their asking price. City keen to offload.
buying or loaning anyone from Citeh would be a non starter
even their kids will be on more money that what we can afford
this whole January transfer window thing has been a joke for the past few years as far as Ashley is concerned
DO NOT BOTHER WITH THE DEADLINE DAY.
Newcastle will not sign anyone. Why?
1. To sign a player on the deadline day, it is likely the work has been done over the last week, or a lavish bid has been put in. We know that Newcastle haven't been active in the market until the last few days, and we know that Newcastle are the dumpster divers of the Premiership.
2. When I say lavish, I mean 2/3 times the player's value, because the club they would leave have no time to replace the player, so remuneration also covers team detriment for the last 5 months of the season.
3. As we have no lavish funds, the only players we could theoretically sign are surplus to requirements at their current clubs. These are the only players who have potential motivation to come to our ****hole of a club, may take a hit on wages (and moonlight sucking dick on the Quayside to make it up to minimum wage), and could be cheap enough to fit even our budget. Brilliant!, you think. Except you're stupid and wrong. Imagine these "players", in the "surplus to requirements" paddock. A field of ****ing Joselu's. Some standing their picking their nose and looking vacant, some conducting the world's slowest 100m race, some kicking rocks at other rocks (and missing)... I'd rather lap manically at Ashley's **** than dip my lolly into that flavourless sherbet. Moreover, the players who are surplus to requirements this window, and quoted, are completely unrealistic and unaffordable. Sturridge, for example, would never have played for us because he'd have to suck that much dick to make-up for the shortfall in wages... I can just imagine Rafa turning to his bench, seeing the empty seat where Sturridge should be, then looking across to the opposition bench and seeing a lot of confused and orgasmic faces, and Sturridge looking like someone has dunked a McDonald's shake on his head... Not again Daniel, not again!
4. You do not just pick up the phone to a club:
*bringggg brinngggggggg*
"Hi, how about 6 million quid and Troy Deeney can suck some of your players' dicks to make up the rest?".
"Yes, sounds good"
"Excellent, put Troy on"
"Hello, Troy Deeney, football player at Watford, how may I direct your call"
"Hi Troyseph, I presume that is your full name? Anyway Troyseph, I am willing to offer you £10 and the feeling of shame and bitter remorse if you sign for us, how about signing for a real **** team?"
"Jeepers mister, would I have to suck dick?"
"I'm not going to lie to you Troyseph"
"......... What does that mean?"
"..Yes. Well, you up for it?"
"Sure"
"Well don't worry about the medical because it's deadline day so we don't care if you have any hidden heart issues"
"Ok cool, I'll just check with my agent... *background noise*.. Hey Larry! LARRY! FFS LARRYY... wot?... NEWCASTLE ON THE PHONE, THEY WANT ME... you have to suck dick?... I DUNNO.... ok... *end of background noise*... Yeah alright Mr."
Never happened. Ever.
Newcastle will not sign anyone. Why?
1. To sign a player on the deadline day, it is likely the work has been done over the last week, or a lavish bid has been put in. We know that Newcastle haven't been active in the market until the last few days, and we know that Newcastle are the dumpster divers of the Premiership.
2. When I say lavish, I mean 2/3 times the player's value, because the club they would leave have no time to replace the player, so remuneration also covers team detriment for the last 5 months of the season.
3. As we have no lavish funds, the only players we could theoretically sign are surplus to requirements at their current clubs. These are the only players who have potential motivation to come to our ****hole of a club, may take a hit on wages (and moonlight sucking dick on the Quayside to make it up to minimum wage), and could be cheap enough to fit even our budget. Brilliant!, you think. Except you're stupid and wrong. Imagine these "players", in the "surplus to requirements" paddock. A field of ****ing Joselu's. Some standing their picking their nose and looking vacant, some conducting the world's slowest 100m race, some kicking rocks at other rocks (and missing)... I'd rather lap manically at Ashley's **** than dip my lolly into that flavourless sherbet. Moreover, the players who are surplus to requirements this window, and quoted, are completely unrealistic and unaffordable. Sturridge, for example, would never have played for us because he'd have to suck that much dick to make-up for the shortfall in wages... I can just imagine Rafa turning to his bench, seeing the empty seat where Sturridge should be, then looking across to the opposition bench and seeing a lot of confused and orgasmic faces, and Sturridge looking like someone has dunked a McDonald's shake on his head... Not again Daniel, not again!
4. You do not just pick up the phone to a club:
*bringggg brinngggggggg*
"Hi, how about 6 million quid and Troy Deeney can suck some of your players' dicks to make up the rest?".
"Yes, sounds good"
"Excellent, put Troy on"
"Hello, Troy Deeney, football player at Watford, how may I direct your call"
"Hi Troyseph, I presume that is your full name? Anyway Troyseph, I am willing to offer you £10 and the feeling of shame and bitter remorse if you sign for us, how about signing for a real **** team?"
"Jeepers mister, would I have to suck dick?"
"I'm not going to lie to you Troyseph"
"......... What does that mean?"
"..Yes. Well, you up for it?"
"Sure"
"Well don't worry about the medical because it's deadline day so we don't care if you have any hidden heart issues"
"Ok cool, I'll just check with my agent... *background noise*.. Hey Larry! LARRY! FFS LARRYY... wot?... NEWCASTLE ON THE PHONE, THEY WANT ME... you have to suck dick?... I DUNNO.... ok... *end of background noise*... Yeah alright Mr."
Never happened. Ever.
I'm sure there will be three or four signings on deadline day.
Perhaps more.
None for Newcastle United though, obviously.
Perhaps more.
None for Newcastle United though, obviously.
Am travelling back from London tomorrow night on the train and am first class so I’ll be hanging around the virgin lounge at Kings across trying to spot our new signings heading to NUFC to sign.
Fook Sky I’ll be your man on the ground.
I won’t be holding a microphone but I hear purple dildos are cheap at the minute.
Fook Sky I’ll be your man on the ground.
I won’t be holding a microphone but I hear purple dildos are cheap at the minute.
I think they should scrap the January transfer window and only allow transfers during the close season.
Its unfair that all the other PL teams get this advantage.
Its unfair that all the other PL teams get this advantage.