Grant Holt Facts

[SheffieldCanary]

This is quite big amongst City fans on Twitter. Couldn't see that it's made it over here yet. I'll set the ball rolling.

Grant Holt isn't overweight, all other footballers are mal-nourished

Grant Holt will not be chosen to play for England. He will choose to play for them.

Grant Holt gave birth to Wayne Rooney and gave him half of his powers.

Etc etc

 

[No Kane No Gain]

Contrary to popular belief Grant Holt is not fast, he's nicknamed "White Lightning" because he's an alcoholic.

 

[STUMADYELLOWS]

Grant Holt must have a good shout for team GB. Be great to see him win a gold and score a hat full.

 

[Phuketcanary]

Grant Holt gets his manly strength from drinking the salty tears of cowardly investment bankers!

 

[Beefforhire-NCFC]

Grant Holt shagged the statue of liberty, and took a **** in the Portman road urinals

 

[CanariesSoccer]

Anyone who fouls Grant Holt should be sent off, because Grant Holt is always in a clear goalscoring position.

 

[CanariesSoccer]

Grant Holt didn't miss his penalty, he just chose not to score it.

 

[KIO]

Grant Holt eats cow pie for breakfast

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[Tony_Munky_Canary]

Grant Holt once swam to The Virgin Islands.
They're now just called The Islands

 

[KIO]

Grant Holt once swam to The Virgin Islands.
They're now just called The Islands

Sid, LOL

 

[redruthyella]

Frank Herbert couldn't spell Grant Holt so his second choice was Muad Dib.

 

[Walsh.i.am]

When Jonathan Swift wrote 'Gulliver's travels', he used Grant Holt as a model for the fictional character

 

[Tony_Munky_Canary]

Grant Holt wrote The Bible, then wrote it again on the back of a postage stamp - in braille

 

[Rubik's Tube]

Grant Holt doesn't believe in God; God believes in Grant Holt

 

[SheffieldCanary]

After the Chelsea game Torres asked Grant Holt "just tell me how".

 

[eeore]

Grant Holt because a lady loves Milk Tray.

 

[DHCanary]

The true definition of impossible is what Grant Holt hasn't done yet.

 

[SheffieldCanary]

Kwik fit considered changing the name of tyres to 'holts'

 

[Rubik's Tube]

Fear of spiders is called arachnaphobia; fear of enclosed spaces is claustrophobia. Fear of Grant Holt is called common sense.

 

[Cruyff's Turn]

Some say....his favourite cocktail's main ingredient is Turpentine Substitute.Some say he runs a half Marathon every morning...on water.Some say Shrewsbury Town missed a couple of noughts off the price.All we know is he's called Grant Holt ...the best English striker in The Premiership !